commitment phobe man

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2007
commitment phobe man
1
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 5:29pm
I've been dating this guy for 3 years now and living with him for 2 out of the 3. Everytime someone asks us when we are going to get married he gets pissed at me and then all night says that all I want is to get married. Well yes I do--someday. I sure this guy is the one but he says he is not sure yet. How long should I wait or do I give him a time limit?? I'm confused b/c I'm only 26 and so I'm young enough to start over if needed. Any advice.

So my ex and I dated for 3 years lived together for 2. We have been broken up for 1.5 years. It was a mutual brk up. I moved 2 hours away about a year ago and often go back home and visit. We did keep in touch for the first year then

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 5:34pm

Three years is a long time, especially if you've been living together for two of them. If he still feels as though he doesn't want to marry, and feels so this strongly, it's time you believed him. Doesn't seem like he's going to change. If you truly want to marry, then I would certainly suggest that you cut your ties in this place so you can look for someone who truly wants to be with you in the way you wish as well. If a guy is so committment phobic, even if he does some day decide to marry, you may well be in for a rocky ride. His fears will not end because he makes a decision to marry, in fact they can increase. Unless he truly decides to go to a therapist and work through the issues he has with committment, he's not a good bet.


All best wishes,