Commitment phobic?
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Commitment phobic?
| Wed, 10-20-2004 - 12:34am |
I've been seeing my now boyfriend for two months, but we've known each other for longer, and just recently made the decision to make a commitment to each other. Only problem, he is just recovering from a two year relationship break-up and has remained on very close terms with his ex. He says they are best friends and he spends a lot of time with her. He told me he is scared of a relatinship because of her cheating but wants to make it work with me. But sicne we have made the commitment he has started phoning less and keeps avoiding spending time with me. He told me once that he had work to do so he couldnt spend any time with me and then later told me he went and saw a movie with his ex. I am worried that he is not over her or is in love with us both. I want to know how i can help him move on, read his signals and help him commit to me.

He is BEST FRIENDS with a liar and a cheater? What? What does that say about his character?
::He told me once that he had work to do so he couldnt spend any time with me and then later told me he went and saw a movie with his ex.
That's what it says.... your values and his are NOT the same. He lied to you. Hell, he could still be sleeping with her for all you know.
He needs more time to heal and move on instead of being in a relationship with you that may turn out to be rebound. Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie
On a different note: The girl cheated, which is the hardest thing to forgive in a relationship. I think he is still questioning why it happened to him. I would go with the other advice you got that said to just be yourself and be there for him. If he isn't giving you the time you need and not making you feel special, I would suggest to him maybe putting the relationship back to a friendship until he is ready to give you want you need and most of all deserve! Maybe over time with some healing, he will look back and remember you being there for him.