commitmentphobic or just a jerk?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
commitmentphobic or just a jerk?
1
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 8:25pm
I've been involved in an on-again/off-again relationship with J for the past 4 years - 9 months of that was marriage. It seems like when things seem to start going good between us J will do something bizzare in what appears to be an effort to sabbotage our relationship. It's perplexing to say the least. Even worse whenever I try to talk to him about his behavior he refuses to participate. It seems like he enjoys the relationship best when he's managed to put some distance between us - whether that be emotional or geographical. When he's managed to do that - then he seems to calm down some and misses me. Then he turns on the charm and goes all out to win me back. Frankly I've tired of this emotional abuse and want it to be over once and for all - the catch is that I do still have some feelings for him - it seems everytime I've tried to end it for good - he goes all out and eventuslly his charms win me back over again. I'm just so tired of this GAME and all of his empty promises. Recently I read the book titled "Men who can't love" - the type of person they describe with this 'affliction' describes J to a T! How will I ever know id he REALLY does love me but is afraid of love - or if this indeed is just some sick game to him and he a plain old fashioned jerk? Please advise - thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 9:48pm
That book is AWESOME... But really, does it matter if he's afflicted or just a jerk? You've already given four years of your life away and nothing has changed. Either way, you might want to move on, no?