Communication Break Down
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Communication Break Down
| Tue, 09-04-2007 - 2:46pm |
I am new to the boards-I feel like I am desperate for some answers or help or just someone to vent to and talk to. My guy and I have been dating for about a year and half now. Actually, it might help if I gave a little more background. He and I met almost 3 years ago. We dated for about 7 months and then split up. For almost a year we didn't talk or see each other. Then we ran into each other and started talking again. He seemed the same, but different. After talking and spending time together we decided to give it a try again. Things were great-even when we didn't agree we would still talk about it. We were both miserable in our jobs and looked in the area for something else. The problem was that it is a very small area which really limits the opportunities so after a few months with nothing working out we talked and decided to move. After we both found jobs in the new-larger area we moved-and moved in together. Everything was great for the first few weeks and has been okay to horrible since then. Where we used to talk about things and went out and enjoyed hanging out together-we don't anymore. He won't say a word to me when we get into an argument about anything. If I try to tell him how I feel and what I need he does the same thing-says absolutely nothing. I can talk until I am blue in the face or tell him how I feel and walk away and he will never say anything to me. I can tell him how I feel-even if it has nothing to do with him and he just gets overly defensive and mad-sometimes I don't even understand why he is mad! A couple of weekends ago I tried to ask him some questions about our relationship and how he feels and he wouldn't say anything-IF he does say anything it is always "I don't know." I have tried several things to get us back on track. I have tried talking to him, which does not work. I went out and bought a bunch of books because he said we could read them and we could work through things. He read part of a couple of them, but we have yet to discuss any of it and it has been several months since he has even picked one of them up. I mentioned seeing a counselor, but I don't think that is an option at this point. He seems to have no interest in doing that-even if it is a pastor or someone at church. I have written him a letter-a long letter-but have not given it to him. Part of me is almost afraid to because I feel like I know what his reaction will be-anger and more of the same-him not saying anything and me just feeling even more rejected and like the relationship is going nowhere. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I can't keep kidding myself into thinking we can make it work. I know that for me to be happy and for things to work between us we have to be able to talk to each other-about the good and the bad-and be honest with each other. I would like to get married and eventually have a family. I just don't even know if he wants that with me anymore, or if he ever did. I just don't know what else to do-keep trying? give up? I am just so frustrated!

Welcome to the board nicole0229,
Since he's not speaking to you when you ask questions and will not discuss anything with you, I'd say that's a bad sign and it will not be easy to turn things around.