communication gap

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2008
communication gap
4
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 12:58pm
hi
i am currently going through a divorce and 8 months back i met this terrific guy. We started getting very comfy and eventually started dating. We have had a living relationship for 6 months. Due to professional reasons we are having a long distance one now. I met him last month and things have changed between us. We fight a lot. Basically he thinks that I don't communicate well. I am less of a talker and I usually just listen. But when I get angry I just explode bringing all my emotions in a very hurtful manner. We are on a time out since he thinks I am forcing myself to be in this relationship. The truth is that I am not. I am feeling very disconnected with him at the moment and finding very hard to understand if its my divorce or our fights that brought us here. I really want to be with him and do I love him. He wants me to talk more as that's the only thing we have between us at the moment but when I talk he says that I sound very dead and superficial.
I have no clue where to start to change things. Should I try to improve my communication and how? How do I convince him that I am still not hung up on my ex and that he is the only one in my heart? Please help me I don't want to break up with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 1:43pm

Welcome to the board bhav2703,


Have you considered seeing a counselor to help you address why you hold everything in until you explode?


Reading material to consider:


The Last Word on the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense – Susan Elgin


Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 4:44pm

How do I convince him that I am still not hung up on my ex and that he is the only one in my heart?


You can only tell him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Wed, 11-05-2008 - 7:02pm

You could sound dead because you are dealing with the grief of one relationship and the building of another...thus zeroing out inside. Too many emotions going on at once.


What is it exactly does he want you to discuss more?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2008
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 4:16pm

Hi,


I'm currently in a long distance relationship & communication is the