Completely confused - Who is Mr. Right
Find a Conversation
Completely confused - Who is Mr. Right
| Thu, 01-29-2004 - 9:32pm |
I am a 36 year old divorced mom of 2 beautiful girls. I have been dating a man for about 7 1/2 years and this past summer we broke up for about 4 months. During that time I dated another man and he dated another woman. Just so happens that he started dating the woman about 1 week after we broke up and I was heart broken unable to even think about dating someone else for about 1 month. I know that is definetly not a long time after dating someone so long, but my best friend suggested that I go to this party after work with her and just have her introduce me to a guy that she knew was going and enjoy myself instead of sitting home depressed. So I agreed with no intentions of even being able to talk to another man at this point. Well I met him and we hit it off wonderfully - dating for about 3 months. During that time my ex-boyfriend (currently my fiance') called me daily crying and wanting to come back into my life. Well - we did try again and now are currently engaged. However, I continue to think about this other man daily and talk to him several times a week and even seeing him as a friend about 1 time every 2 weeks. I have not told my current partner that I am talking to this other guy and feel like I am truely cheating on him because of this friendship. I know that I have more than friendship feelings for this other guy and everyone - my family, kids and co-workers really like both guys. I have never been dishonest in a relationship before and am having a really hard time with this current situation that has been going on long enough. The guy that I dated for 3 months had a conversation with me and realizes just how hard this is for me and we are planning on not talking anymore and moving on. My problem is that I really feel like I love both of these guys and have never ever had such troublesome feelings before. I don't know what to do at this point and if I am doing the right thing by getting married to someone when I am still thinking of another man sometimes. I feel like I don't know how to tell which if either of these guys is really Mr. Right or not. The other problem that I have is letting go of the guy that is truely understanding and willing to step aside. The man that is currently my fiance' gets really depressed and almost suicidal when we broke up before and I completely feel responsible for making him sad, hurt, depressed or happy. I almost feel like it is my responsiblity to stay in this relationship. Please don't get me wrong when I am talking about my current relationship, because it is also a very happy and loving relationship. That is why I am so confused. If anyone has suggestions or ideas of how I know who is if either is Mr. Right - please, please help!!!

If you go into a marriage because you want to prevent depression in your partner and avoid your feelings for another man, you will do neither and only make things worse. How will your 'husband' feel when he figures out that you aren't in live with him and you eventually tell him the truth?
Be true to yourself. Get out of both relationships and spend time alone until you know what you really want.