complicated love

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
complicated love
1
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 5:30pm
There was a man whom I worked with for a long time and we became very close. Last november he separated from his wife and moved in with a relative who lived about an hour from the city where we live. He was commuting back and forth at all hours, so he started spending nights on my couch to avoid the commute. All of this spending time together eventually resulted in a secret affair (because he was technically still married) which lasted about 3 months.

In march his wife and kids were in a car accident and he had to move back in to help take care of them. After this he decided to give his marriage another shot. We still talk all the time, and the problem is that I'm still in love with him and I know that he still cares about me a great deal. I know I should stay away from him, but he's also one of my best friends and I don't want to lose that relationship. I'm just completely at a loss about what I should do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 5:44pm
You must give him time to sort this out. I think to be safe you should assume he will stay with his wife and you must go on with your life. That way you are safe either way. There is nothing else you can do.

I think with regards to his friendship you must cool it for now. You must take care of yourself and give him and you enough space that your feelings will subside.

He is married. And until he is divorced he is not available to you.