confused :(

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
confused :(
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 2:49pm

my husband had an affair over 8 yrs ago before we were married....i never forgot but got past it. he is a very naturally flirty person and loves to "innocently flirt" with other women alot of the times in front of me making inappropriate comments! i hate it and tell him all the time but its like he stops for a min then goes right back. he works for a very large company and works with alot of single females well alot of these females have his num and he texts them when i find out i ask him to stop he does then months later he's texting a new female! the last one was a female single and young i saw her name in recent texts when he was trying to show me something in his phone. i waited til we were alone and asked him who she was and why they r texting i asked to see the texts if it was all innocent texting but the first second he got he deleted all the texts from her :smileysad: now i wonder what  the texts were about. they had a team lunch and it was just people on his team that were gonna b there low and behold this female isnt on his team but just happened to show up at this lunch and i was mad he says i cant control who comes and yes that may b true but he has no regard for my feelings at all when i try and discuss things with him he just sits silently listens to me with no response i have had this issue alot with diff females some making inappropriate comments on his fb calling him baby at work but he says they dont even talk like that! i dont know what to do we work opposite shifts and i rarely see him he is always grumpy for one reason or another when its just us everything is perfect as long as i ignore all the texting and lying he does he was caught texting my sister and was asking her if she does oral thats just how he is but i feel disrespected when he does stuff like that but am i just being overly jealous? he lies to me about the smallest things like r u still texting my sister he will say no and i will see he is. not inaprpriately at that then why lie to me? i dont understand but i am hurt by the lies and i feel if he was happily married he would keep his number to himself and no text these women at work? i honestly beleive theres no affair but how can i make him understand and actually stop? is it possible?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
In reply to:
Sat, 09-01-2012 - 6:43am
Asking your sister if she gives good oral is hardly "innocent flirting". Innocent flirting is telling a woman that her skirt is flattering. What he did here was sleazy and overtly sexual. If this is how he is, then I think you deserve much better By the way, did sister come to you with this text? If not, how did she reply to him? After a text like he sent to her, I wouldn't put anything past him.