Confused!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2009
Confused!
5
Tue, 09-13-2011 - 3:20pm

Background (sorry so long) : I met my now husband when I was 20. He is ten years older then me and was my first and only boyfriend. We were friends for three years before we started dating. My mother died a horrific death from cancer and I didn't want to enter a relationship on top of such a horrible event. However I didn't want to lose my

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
In reply to: pink_birdie
Tue, 09-13-2011 - 3:51pm

How old are you now and how long have you been married?

Also, it is my experience that resentment and unforgiveness can and will kill any positive aspects to any relationship but especially an intimate, SO relationship.

Not to excuse him but any hope of you letting all that go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: pink_birdie
Tue, 09-13-2011 - 4:13pm

Well if you are moving & he doesn't want to go with you and you didn't say you have kids, then why bother even staying married?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2009
In reply to: pink_birdie
Tue, 09-13-2011 - 8:15pm
Thanks for the reply,
I don't have any kids, but I do love my husband. However, I'm not sure if I am in love with my husband anymore. We stay together mostly because neither of us are brave enough to leave. He stated it himself one night. If it wasn't for his kidney I might have already left him .
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2009
In reply to: pink_birdie
Tue, 09-13-2011 - 8:40pm
Thanks for the reply,

My husband and I have been together for seven hears now (including the three years we were just close friends), but have only been married for one year. We actually put off our wedding to try and work out some of our problems. I decided to marry him because I thought I could let everything go. My husband has become a lot more supportive of me but still believes I literally woke up one day unhappy for no apparent reason. I had actually thought that he could understand that this was not the case. I love him and want to let things go but the feelings aren't there anymore. Also I think I'm unfair to him when he tries to be more sensitive to my feelings now. I always think, "where were you when I needed you? I'm doing fine now it's you who needs me this time". I think I can eventually let this all go. He is wants me to be happy. I want him to be happy. I am 28 years old right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: pink_birdie
Tue, 09-13-2011 - 10:36pm

Three years of being friends doesn't count towards your relationship. The fact that you include it tells me that's what you think of your marriage... A friendship.

You are young (I am 28 myself). You married the wrong guy for the wrong reasons. One year of marriage is too soon to fall out of love. I think you should end the relationship while you're young, in 20 years you will probably wish you had.