Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Confused
4
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 4:08pm
My husband of 1 year befriends more women then men at work. The issue I have is I feel he likes one a little too much. He has never cheated in the 7 years we have been together. He has access to his work email from home and I know all his passwords etc. So of course I check every once in a while. One of the times I checked they had a nice banter going and he asked the question "Since you are in such a great mood, want to have an affair?". Needless to say, I was devastated. The reply was just a LOL and not a chance. But my problem now is how do tell him I know this. I breeched his trust by checking his email, but I did it. Could it be it was really just a joke? Or am I just clouding over my eyes? I have asked him about this girl and their friendship, I have told him I didn't like for him to go to lunch exclusively with just one person and he agreed. He just tries to assure me that I am the only one and he would never throw away what we have for a fling. But I struggle with this now. What do I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: tiannehai
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 5:49pm
Some things you don't joke about, this is one of them. It's like he threw out the line to test the water. I would be upset too.

How do you tell him? I have no clue. Be honest and forthcoming. You need to talk about this.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
In reply to: tiannehai
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 5:54pm
That is exactly how I felt. Like he was testing the water. She didn't bite but what happens the next time somebody does, or her current relationship falls apart. I really hate the position I am in, partly my fault, but I guess if trust were there I would not be here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: tiannehai
Sun, 08-29-2004 - 5:31pm
I wouldn't check his emails anymore. I'm a single woman who rides the train with several married men. Absolutely all of them flirt with me. I'm not a flirty person and I'd never date a married man. They flirt and talk to all the other single women too, but they don't mean anything by it. One of these married men sends me similar emails. We email each other back and forth on various topics. Sometimes he gets out of bounds. I know his wife would be furious if she knew about the emails. I always change the subject when he goes there. My advice to you is to not act jealous. Get some hobbies of your own. If you act independent, then he'll wonder what's up with you and he'll seek you out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: tiannehai
Tue, 08-31-2004 - 5:51pm

I Disagree

Love