Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Confused
5
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 5:28pm
Hi my name is Maria and I have a serious problem.I had serious boyfriend since October 2005 and I got pregnant in august 2006 and we started living together since. We had a lot of family problems, his family and my family never got along and his family never like me at all.My baby daughter was born and nothing changed at all and his family said that my daughter was not their grandaughter.After that the same mothers day I left my "husband" and it was horrible we passed what was left of may and the entire month of June in court.In July we decided to start all over from zero because we loved each other and for my little girl because she has ONG and Nystagmus.The relationship was working, we'll got out to dinner,to the movies wherever it was great.He even was fixing a house for us, but we had a little problem with other women and other baby.Recently that was clear out according to him it was not his, but he was seeing the child not her and he did not tell me and have not seen the DNA paper yet so I don't know the truth.After that he said that his grandfather had passed away and it was not true.He said his car broke down and his cellphone was lost and I don't know if its true or not all I know is that he has none of them.I have no way of reaching him, he has called in a month and a half, three times to ask for his daughter to see her, but he never calls back.I don't know if something is wrong or what's happening, other times when he has no phone or car he looks for a way to communicate with me or to see me or the baby.Im really depressed I have not seen him I miss him and I'm afraid of losing him. What should I do or think I don't know what to think and with my life.We were going to marry in October when we fulfill our third year anniversary. Thanks in advanced.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: goddess_mary1021
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 5:45pm

Welcome to the board Maria,


Sorry you are going through a rough time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
In reply to: goddess_mary1021
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 6:27pm
THANKS FOR THE RESPONSE.FIRST OF ALL MY DAUGHTER RECEIVES CHILD SUPPORT SECOND HE DOES NOT HAVE CONTACT WITH THE OTHER WOMEN OF THAT IM SURE COMPLETELY.AND IN THE PAST HIS PARENTS HAVE DONE THINGS TO DAMAGE OUR RELATIONSHIP LIKE PUTTING A LAWSUIT LIKE IT WAS HIM AND HE DID NOT KNOW NOTHING JUST BECAUSE THE ATTORNEY IS THEIR FRIEND.AND BECAUSE OF THAT MY FATHER ALMOST LOST HIS JOB AND I LOST MY DAUGHTER.I KNOW THAT SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT HE WOULD LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING THAT'S POSSIBLE BUT NOT HIS DAUGHTER SHE MEANS EVERYTHING TO HIM SHE IS VERY SPECIAL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: goddess_mary1021
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 9:25pm

::but he was seeing the child not her and he did not tell me and have not seen the DNA paper yet so I don't know the truth.


I'm confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
In reply to: goddess_mary1021
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 2:29pm
His mom is the intermediary he has no communication with her whatsoever.Is the grandma.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: goddess_mary1021
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 12:36pm

It is clear that he is retreating from you. He's not there, he's not responding appropriately, seems as if he wants to get out the relationship and possibly all of his repsonsibilities. If he calls only to see the child (and then doesn't even call back), it seems clear that he's gone.


You need to focus on what you can do to create a new life for yourself. Find out if he is the true father, and if so, I believe that legally he must offer child support. I suggest you find a lawyer who knows about these matters to help you. You also need a support group for single mothers to have a group of supportive people in your life and receive guidance on how to move forward in re-building. It would be wonderful for you to have some kind of counsellor to speak with on an on-going basis to give you the support and guidance you deserve.


All the very best to you,