confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
confused
4
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 5:05pm
My boyfriend of almost 4 years proposed to me last year, and we started planning our wedding shortly after even though we set the date a year and a half in advance. About 3 weeks ago, (3months before our wedding is to take place) he decided that hes not ready to get married anymore. he says he doesnt want to break up with me, and that hes just not ready. he thought he was but hes not. but what i dont understand is how could he let our engagement go on for soo long before he decided that he wasnt ready. We talked about everything to do with the wedding, and he said he was ready so many times, and he was getting so excited about the wedding, he was telling everyone that we were getting married and when and where it was going to be located. now, i dont know what im suppose to do. We are still currently dating and living together, but i feel like our realationship is dummed, i really dont know what to do. He doesnt ever want to talk about it, all he says is hes not ready. I am completely heartbroken. does anybody have any advice?!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
In reply to: mbelly2008
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 7:20pm

I'm really sorry. It was pretty cruel for him to change his mind so suddenly, and while I don't think you're doomed, I think you have taken a big step back and it will be difficult to determine if he really wants to take that step again when he shied away from it before.

In order to say what I really need to say I'm most interested in what's going on with him lately. How old is he? Does he have his life in order? Have a good steady job, a nice group of friends, family support etc?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: mbelly2008
Sun, 05-11-2008 - 10:08pm

Welcome to the board mbelly2008,


Believe him if he says he's not ready.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
In reply to: mbelly2008
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 12:31am
Has he discussed the future at all in terms of when he'd be more comfortable getting married?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
In reply to: mbelly2008
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 4:27pm

Friend of mine and her then-fiance went through pretty much the exact same thing.

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