confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2007
confused
1
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 7:50pm
We are together for 6 years, but married only 10 months. We had a long distance relationship for 5 years, we met only 4-5 times a year, for about a week or two, but our relationship was great. Now we are finally together, we are living together for 5 months now, but I feel we have some problems. We are honest to each other, and we had no problems with cheating, he is not a cheater type, nor am I. The problem is that we have sex once a week, or less. He works at nights, and I understand that he is tired and sleepy, but when we go to our friends at evenings than he is full of energy, and can stay up until 2 am! Even when he had no sleep at all! But when we are home he is always tired, and goes to sleep at 10 pm. Even when he has a day off! I asked him is there a problem, he said everything is fine. Not to mention when we do have sex he goes to sleep right after he had his orgasm, he rarely tries to get me one as well! I'm getting frustrated, I tried so many things to get him in to bed instead of watching TV, he usually says "I'm tired", "I have to sleep a couple hours before work", "We will do it tomorrow", and the answer I never heard before as an excuse "It's 11pm, it's too late for sex now"! I couldn't believe my ears when he said that... I talk about sex very often now, (no wonder when I'm missing it)and tonight he said to me: be quiet, you always talk about this, you should really calm down a little. I need help, I really start to feel unhappy. And beside the sex thing, the only day to ourselves would be Saturday, we don't see each other all week except during dinner, but when Saturday comes he doesn't want to be alone with me, he always wants to go somewhere with our friends, when I say no, I want to be alone with you, I missed you than he goes alone, he always wants to be surrounded with a bunch of people, it's like he is bored when he is alone with me. I really don't know what is the problem, so any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: ellen444
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 11:32am

Welcome to the board ellen444,


It seems to be that maybe the two of you have different libidos and he is okay with having sex less often than you are. I really sounds like you need to sit down with him and talk to him about your sex life and not getting to spend much time with you. Tell him these things are really bothering you and it is important for the sake of your marriage than you find a compromise that both of you will be happy with.


Good luck. I hope he listens to you.


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