CoNfUsEd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
CoNfUsEd
2
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 9:10am
Ive been with my boyfriend for about 2 years.but recently I met this guy that im starting to really like!Ive tried to avoid him but what happens then is that i look foward to seeing him every morning in college. Dont get me wrong im i love with my boyfriend but is it normal to like a guy even if you have a boyfriend? These two past years that ive been with my boyfriend have been the best! he reslly loves me and i dont want to do anything to hurt him. I want to stay with him, i know that much but i dont know why i cant seem to forget about this guy! please help me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
In reply to: jouvou
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 9:23am
This happens all the time, even to married people.

The thing is that you are just dating and you are young, this could be a sign that you are not ready to settle down w/ your current boyfriend. I don't know how old you are, but you said you are in college, so I am assuming you are under 25. Most long term relationships/marriages that begin before that age usually don't last. So, I would sit down and make sure I want to really be committed. You only live once - why tie yourself at such a young age? Why not date around (like with this new guy) and make sure that you are really happy.

If you decide you want to stay with your current bf, then make sure you cut off contact with the guy you are attracted to. This is how cheating happens. You find yourself attracted to another person, you don't avoid them, and then.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
In reply to: jouvou
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 1:21pm
I've been married for a year and 8 months. At the beginning of this year right after our 1 year anniversary I went with a friend, and met this incredible, very handsome, very nice guy. I was like "Oh, my god! I wish I wasn't married right now!" I couldn't help myself. He was married also, we started talking and he told me he thought the same thing when he seen me. Over a few months, I would go with my friend to his place of work to see him, and occasionally call him on the phone. I was very happy in my marriage, but I still couldn't keep the other guy out of my mind. Well, I really started to have feelings for him but I was like I canNOT loose my marriage to a great guy that I love. So, I just got the courage one day called the other guy, and told him that I will no longer call or visit him at work. He said he understands and that he knows that if we would of kept it up that something would of happened, and we both happily married and didn't want to loose our spouses. We have never had physical contact. After that it was really hard, I missed him but the only way I could keep my mind off him was to keep busy, and to spend as much time as I possibly could with my husband. It's been 3 or 4 months since I've talked or seen the other guy, I finally got him out of mind and focused on my marriage to keep it happy and strong. But, everytime I start to thinking, I just take a deep breath and focus on thinking about how lucky and happy with what I already have. But, of course you are still young, and not married. Maybe talk to the other guy see how he feels about you, then talk to your boyfriend and tell him how much you love him but before things get too deep and ready to settledown that you would like to enjoy college life and experience life while you are still young and able to. He will probaly be angry and hurt but if he really loves you he should let you go and when you are ready that he can be there still. Trust me, I am only 23. And I wish I could go back and say that and do it.