confused about his feellings

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
confused about his feellings
2
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 5:44pm
I have known my partener for 5 years and we have been together for 1. As my friend I knew he wasn't good expressing his feelings, but now that we are a couple I wish he could show me more affection. Everytime we get in the subject he starts critizising me and telling me every single defect I have so I don't know why is he with me in the first place and I am so afraid to lose him that I don't say anything else. We have kept our relationship secret because we have very different cultures and his parents wouldn't accept me (he is chinese and I am latin). Don't know what to expect, please say something
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 8:43pm
Hi Paulita,

Why are you afraid of losing someone who criticizes you and tells you every single defect you have? The fact that you don't say anything probably makes him do it more as there are no consequences to his comments. You need to tell him that his comments are degrading and unacceptable. You should not want to stay with a man that treats you like that. I hope you know you are worth more than that. You need to step up to the plate even if it means losing him... he should be glad that he hasn't lost you yet. You need to be strong and confront him on his behavior; hoping he will change and saying nothing is not going to do it. Take care. Lucy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 8:46pm
'Everytime we get in the subject he starts critizising me and telling me every single defect I have '

This has nothing to do with his feelings. He is not a good boyfriend and is hurting you. This relationship has too many problems. Get out and find someone who respects you.