Confused About What To Do

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Confused About What To Do
3
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 11:44pm
I have been seeing my guy for about 2 months now and I am still totally unsure of where we stand. We've known each other for a year now and dated before he moved 3 hrs away but it wasn't serious b/c of the fact that he was moving and he said that we both knew that it was pointless to try to start something and stupid for him to treat me like a gf and lead me to believe we were in a relationship since he was moving. After he moved, we didn't talk for about 4 months and then we ended up deciding to see each other again.

When we finally saw each other again, he was like prince charming and has been treating me like a gf the whole time. He actually even came to see me which is something that he would NEVER EVER even consider to begin with. Also, he agreed to go w/ me to my cousin's wedding on March 20th and meet my family... At first, he jokingly said he was going just to see me in a nice dress, and then he said that he was doing it because he knew it would make me happy and he wants me to be happy.

His roommate is one of my very best friends, and he has a big big mouth. lol He said that they never talk about their relationships with girls... However, he told my guy, "you do know that she's in love w/ you and would do anything for you right?" and my guy told him "she hasn't told me". He didn't freak out though, which is something he always did before when he thought that we were getting too close.. so I don't know what to think. The closest he's come to telling me how he feels is that he likes me a lot and that he's sure that I'm the nicest person in the world to him and that I always make him happy and warm inside.

When he came up to see me over the weekend he didn't pay any attention to anything but me... I have never cuddled and loved on someone so much in one weekend. When we woke up on Sunday morning we spent 3 hrs nose-to-nose just laughing and looking into each other's eyes... I've never had that with a guy before. He's totally different than I've ever known and I'm so in love with him.

However, when he leaves sometimes it's days before I hear from him again.. even if I've tried to be in touch w/ him. I mean, sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't... and he's in grad school so I understand that he's busy... I just feel like he doesn't miss me as much as I miss him... Even though he told me that he was going to miss me and be thinking of me until he gets to see me again.

I'm supposed to be going down to the town he lives for a week in 9 days... I'm not sure if I should question what we are at that point or not. That's why I am posting... I am worried to ask b/c I don't want to push him.. but at the same time I don't want to continue w/ this without knowing. What do you guys think of how he feels and do you think we can make this relationship work??? Thanks.. I really appreciate your time!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 12:16am
I don't know if this will make you feel any better but for only having dated for two months it sounds like you guys are right on track. It's still new and feelings are still developing. You need to just be patient here and enjoy the experience. It's too early to read into his actions and whatnot. You should really be focusing more on yourself and your life outside of dating him. To make a man the center of your world is an unhealthy decision. You should put more focus on your own hobbies and interests. Hang out with your friends a little more.

If you just take a deep breath, relax, and be patient you should no longer be confused. :)

Jennifer

"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 10:06am

It sounds like this guy is easily thrown off gaurd by

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 11:01am
You are getting two opinions for the price of one.

My mom is standing over me says that when she had a boyfriend like that when she was young she told him ... You are not a boy and I am not a toy so lets just stop playing. She chose a husband who married her and wanted to after they were together for a short time. She said she does not like games and either the guy is ready or is not.

My opinion: I have to tell you it is just not good that he is not calling you every day. It is just a bad sign you know. I would not like it at all.

But I would give it some more time for bonding. And then if you are still dissatisfied. then break it off with him.

By the way... my mom has had way more success in relationships then I have. seems like her tough attitude worked always. Says she always got respect.

YOu choose. Your still not at the stage where you have to do anything... if you don't want to.