Confused and Abused

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2003
Confused and Abused
3
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 11:33am
I started dating this younger man nearly a year and half ago. We have our difference because of age and what have you, but I knew his heart. Around Memorial Day he told me he didn't want to be in a relationship any longer. But he kept calling me to come over just as before. About three weeks ago, I met my replacement, I thought. He has a lot of female friends and I'm o.k. with most of them. This one I was not. We had an all out brawl.

I spent two weeks erasing him from my memories, I was done. My heart mended. This Thursday, he calls and says he wants to talk. He apologizes for everything and his actions once again have been loving and kind. He told me that he loves me, that we have a bond that can't be broken.

Here's my problem, he doesn't want to be seen in public with me. He doesn't want me to meet his family. At times he gets comfortable enough that I begin to feel like the maid. I Love Him, but I don't understand his actions.

What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 1:03pm


He wants you when it is convenient for him. He does not want a relationship with you and he is embarrassed by your relationship. Does this sound like a future for you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 6:30pm
I agree with what Ciao Gina said.

I think you already know what you need to do and that is have no further contact with him. I can't imagine why you would want to be with someone who seems embarassed by your relationship. Another thing that crossed my mind is that he is seeing someone else and doesn't want to bump into this other person, or someone who knows this person, while out in public with you. He doesn't want you to meet his family. He is hiding you for whatever reason and it is not fair to you.

He can tell you he loves you all he wants. He doesn't love you. People who love each other don't treat the people they love the way your "boyfriend" treats you. It is horrible. I don't think you are going to be happy in the relationship so why let it continue and be miserable?

He is no good for you. Stop all contact with him and mend your heart. (Again)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 7:59pm
::Here's my problem, he doesn't want to be seen in public with me. He doesn't want me to meet his family

Run. He wants his cake and eat it too.


Carrie