Confused and Angry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Confused and Angry
1
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 5:11pm
I am a 26 year old woman who recently had my boyfriend move in with me. I met him and thought he was a great guy. I knew he had a slight temper and was somewhat jealous, but attributed this to a rocky relationship he had with his ex-girlfriend. (While they were together she was still dating her physically abusive ex boyfriend.) We got through this and then a occured in which he had to leave his home. He and his sis' boyfriend were inolved in fight and he was arrested with the boyfriend. After that incident, he said he needed to get out and so of course, me being the loving girlriend said ok when he wanted to move in. Well things got worst. Everytime i do or say something he criticizes me and attributes it to his honesty. We have been fighting constantly. I finally had it and told me how i felt. Well of course he disagreed. He told me how I am overly sensitive and gave me a laundry list of things that is wrong with me. The last straw was when we were speaking on the phone and he was telling me a story. Through out the story I was responding with umm-huh and so forth because I was eating and because I was at work. and I didn't want Well he exploded and accused me of not listening to him and proceeded as he always does to tell me what is wrong with me. He basically cursed me out. I called my friends and they all agreed I should leave for the night. I spoke with my best friend and she said she would meet me at my home. Well i came home packed a bag and woke him up to tell him I was leaving for the night. Of course he tried to talk me out of it but I said no. As we were arguing my friend knocked on the door. (she also had her male friend with her). well this angered him even more. I left but eventually called him when I got to my friend's home. He was enraged. He told me that I made him look like an animal and that I have made him out to be an abusive boyfriend and accused me of trying to have him beat up by my friends. This went on for about two hours. Us back and forth. Him telling me that I have blown everyhting out of proportion and that he has the right to get angry sometimes and vent. And I explained to him that he VENTS alot and I am the one who takes the brunt of it. He told me he hated me and that he wanted to break up and that I was a horrible person. Then in his normal "weird" fashion, he calls back and says how much he loves me and that we are not breaking up. He asked me if I wanted to break up with him and I told him that I need to think things through. In the mean time we live together. I never in my life thought I would be in a situation like this. I am always the one upset when I see women putting up with crap like this and now I am one of those women I talked about. What do I do?! Am I blowing things out of proportion?

Edited 5/19/2004 1:35 pm ET ET by minahb


Edited 5/19/2004 1:52 pm ET ET by minahb

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: minahb
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 5:33pm
::He told me he hated me and that he wanted to break up and that I was a horrible person. Then in his normal "weird" fashion, he calls back and says how much he loves me and that we are not breaking up.

Run, his behavior is abusive and he called it.... in his rant when he was worried about how people see him.

Reading material:

I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality, Jerold Kreisman, MD

My best to you.


Carrie