confused and frustrated
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confused and frustrated
| Tue, 08-28-2007 - 10:32pm |
I have been married for six years. I dated my husband all through college with the exception of 6 months where I broke up with him and dated somone else. I will call him Mr. X That was 7 1/2 years ago. Over the years I look back and I am constanly thinking about Mr X and wondering if we ever would have had a chance if I didn't get back together with my husband. I keep thinking, "what is wrong with me" that I cant get this guy out of my head!! It is driving me crazy. I wonder if I made a huge mistake and my instincts are telling me I should have stayed with Mr. X. It was me who broke up with him to go back to my husband. At the time I was a 20 year old who was confused and was going to what was familiar instead of what my heart really wanted. I was afraid to take that chance. I love my husband, but not the way I should. I have no conatct what so ever with Mr. X, but still sit here and wonder about him. What is wrong with me and does anyone offer any advice. I feel trapped and like I made a huge mistake.

I've had those thoughts about, "did I choose the wrong path."
Well, when I was young, I had the chance to re-date some guy I thought I REALLY made a mistake leaving. Guess what. As it turned out I made the right choice the first time. I just forgot the real reasons I left in the first place and they all got worse the second time around. Whew! We do forget..... we tend to remember the "good times".
When we think of old loves, we get caught up in the fantasy "what if" world. When we've been married for a while, no matter what, we fantasize for something that was like the violin kissing hugging world that we had when we first met our spouse, BF or GF. That's normal life. That is so normal to wonder "..... what if".
Then normal life happens. Bills, jobs, car repairs, dirty socks, dishes, grocery shopping, spoiled milk, burping scratching men, dirty toilets, etc etc. We didn't think about that years ago when the violins strummed when we kissed the really cool guy (or what we thought was the really cool guy) that we didn't even think about years down the road, having to clean the bacon stripes from his underwear, now did we?
I gotta tell ya.. I think I was a lot smarter when I was 20 years old. (I'm 41) I made a LOT better choices, real quick-like, than I have over the last 10 to 15 years. Don't knock your choices. I think, my opinion only!! That you're just a little confused right now and that's normal, and we all want the happily ever after..... But have we heard what Cinderella is up to now???
Welcome to the board lane79,
The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly one you can never have - Kierkegaard
You made a decision based on the information you had when you made the decision.