Confused and heart broken...
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|Sun, 02-03-2013 - 9:59am|
So I broke up with my ex of 9 months.
Long story short: I felt that he was emotionally disconnected. He barely pursued me: we saw each other probably once a week if I was lucky, he was okay with talking on the phone with me three times, maybe four times a week (at most). And yes, I do find myself asking how it lasted for as long as it did. He continuously told me about his ex whom broke his heart and how it is hard for him now to trust or fall back again. Yet, he would contradict himself by telling me that he loves me, that he wanted babies with me, etc... According to him, the reason why he was unable to give me 100% was because I was confused about my future.
In the very beginning of the relationship (our first date), I had told him that I am not sure if I ever want to get married or have kids and that I will most likely be moving out of state next year. Therefore, throughout the following 8 months he always reminded me of this. I assured him that he made me feel different and that only the future will tell, in the meantime I was falling in love with him and I loved being with him. I reassured him time and time again that my feelings had changed and if I find a good job in the current state I will stay here.
Well, the point is that 9 months later, I simply couldn't take it anymore. He continued to be distant. I broke up with him for the last time. The first few days after the breakup, he didn’t call, so I called him a few days later telling him that I missed him. He replied that he has been better able to focus on himself, since the breakup and will most likely remain single for a while. My only response to that was why didn't he just break up with me in the first place, months ago rather than drag me along. According to him, he enjoyed my company and was selfish, since he did not want to let me go. So, after that conversation I did not call again, yet he started calling me. He began sending me messages that he misses me, etc....
For the most part, I ignored it. It has been 2 months since the breakup. And I recently found out that he has changed his number. I feel like my heart is breaking into pieces. I can barely sleep. I have some of his clothes still, and was thinking that maybe today I will drop it off at his apartment door with a card saying that I miss him.
I know this is crazy, but I feel so down, I can't help it!!!
Should I do it?