Confused and Hurting, Please Help !

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Confused and Hurting, Please Help !
19
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 11:05am

My girlfriend and I have been going out for 6 years and 8 months and just recently we broke up (3 weeks exactly). She said the reasons were that she seemed that I had no foundation to move on and build a future. I agree that it’s a valid reason; I don't really think that it was just that I have no ambition I guess it's that we were, well I was pretty comfortable living @ home at my parents house w/her because we weren't really paying mortgage or rent and we had it pretty easy and I just wanted to just relax and take advantage of that because I know that things change once we moved out and had a mortgage or rent. I will admit that I had stopped going to school, and she's real big on school. Besides my full-time job I really wasn't doing much of anything else except for playing games and surfing the web. We have been living together for the last 3 years, we had plans to move out on our own in March once I finished paying off my car, since rent is so expensive here in Miami. Everything relationship wise was going good, based on what she told me after we broke up and I agree. She said the only thing that bothered her and lead her to the break up was the fact that she saw no future. I’m in love with this girl and this has been the hardest 3 weeks, I had plans to ask her to marry me after we moved out. I’m trying the whole "ignore her" thing kind of, I say kind of because she hasn't really made any effort to call or email me or nothing! Everyone tells me to just move on but I love this girl WAY too much to just move on. I sent flowers yesterday along with a letter basically telling her how I felt and my plans to build a foundation, I know she got them but she hasn’t contacted me for

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 11:29am

Welcome to the board confused98,


I think you have done everything you can at this point. I think

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 12:06pm
Give her a call when you are out on your own and can prove to her that you like being on your own and in charge of a good future. Give it a few months and leave her alone for a while.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 1:44pm

I know i'm just supposed to give her the space she wants and I am, but by her not calling me or making any type of contact directly to me does that mean that she has moved on and wants nothing to do with me ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 2:10pm

Welcome to the board confused98,


Feelings and emoitons are not concrete or cast in stone. People go through the routines of their lives, doing things that are expected of them..... in that moment she may have felt it and meant it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 2:19pm

I don't think

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 3:16pm
Besides just doing what I have to do and waiting a few weeks before i make any type of contact with her is there anything else I should do ?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 3:22pm
Just focus on yourself right now. A couple years ago when I had a really bad break up I started doing things for myself. I excerised for an hour everyday, read books, found some good tv shows to watch, and went out with friends.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 5:13pm

How old are you, Confused, and how old is your gf? You were dating for 6 years? And living with your parents for the whole time? Well, her friends and family were probably telling her to move on. To tell you the truth, without knowing you, I would have told her the same thing. She has her ideas of success, you weren't moving in that direction at all.

Cat 

Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Wed, 11-14-2007 - 10:12am

Hey thanks for taking the time to reply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 12:34pm

Quick update.


I don't know if this is just me but I asked my grandmother and she said the samething I was thinking without me telling her.

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