confused and need reality check
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confused and need reality check
| Fri, 05-04-2007 - 1:15am |
Hello,
I am hoping that someone will take the time to read this and give an honest insight into what is really going on . I feel very hopeless and confused. my spouse and I are supposed to close on a new home on the 17th of this month. a few weeks ago we found out that there was a problem with radon. the owners gave us a quote from a contractor who was going to put a mitigation system in. my spouse made a big deal about what system was going to go in and wanted the owners to put a top of the line one in. they first agreed and then said no. this really upset my husband who went to see a lawyer about what he could do. the lawyer told him he really could not do anything so he called the radon guy himself to see if the guy would upgrade the system and charge him for it. the radon man said he never talked with the lady and has no idea of what they were talking about. this really upset my spouse who had the real estate agent look into more details of the house and if there were any liens. while we were waiting for the lien issue to come back the realtor told us to find someone to fix the radon that the seller agreed to let us do it and that the real estate agency would pay the difference of having a better system installed. my spouse would not call the radon guy for a quote. when i asked him about it he would not say. over two weeks i asked him three times what his thoughts were about the house. he said for me to quit harassing him about it that i was making it worse. i reminded him that it is my life and future and i would like to know what his intentions are and he would not say. the information on the lien came back with there being a few liens on the property. the real estate agent said that the seller assured them that when the house was sold she would pay the liens off and that she would bring in all of the paper work needed to prove that she would and could. my spouse is going to see a lawyer in the morning over this. he said since she signed the papers saying that there was not a lien then the contract is void. i asked him if i could go with him to the lawyer, he said no that it would be a conflict of interest for the lawyer (The lawyer advised him a few years back to sell our kids college fund and put it in just one kids name without telling me and had it sent to his dads house hoping that I would not find out, but I did at tax time), anyway i said it should not be a conflict because the house involves both of us and he should not have a problem talking to us both. my spouse still refuses and gets really upset when I tell him that I think I should go. He says I am making a big deal out of it and making things worse. so my question is,
1. Is it unreasonable of me to want to go to the lawyer to see what his thoughts are on the liens and if they really are not an issue if she can prove she can pay them?
2. Is it unreasonable of me to expect my spouse to discuss his thouths and plans for the future of the house?
3. why does my spouse not want me to go to the lawyer with him? would it really be a conflict for the lawyer?
There are so many more things that I do not undersand about him but it would take too long to get into. I thank you for reading this and giving me your feedback. i hope that you have a godd day.
I am hoping that someone will take the time to read this and give an honest insight into what is really going on . I feel very hopeless and confused. my spouse and I are supposed to close on a new home on the 17th of this month. a few weeks ago we found out that there was a problem with radon. the owners gave us a quote from a contractor who was going to put a mitigation system in. my spouse made a big deal about what system was going to go in and wanted the owners to put a top of the line one in. they first agreed and then said no. this really upset my husband who went to see a lawyer about what he could do. the lawyer told him he really could not do anything so he called the radon guy himself to see if the guy would upgrade the system and charge him for it. the radon man said he never talked with the lady and has no idea of what they were talking about. this really upset my spouse who had the real estate agent look into more details of the house and if there were any liens. while we were waiting for the lien issue to come back the realtor told us to find someone to fix the radon that the seller agreed to let us do it and that the real estate agency would pay the difference of having a better system installed. my spouse would not call the radon guy for a quote. when i asked him about it he would not say. over two weeks i asked him three times what his thoughts were about the house. he said for me to quit harassing him about it that i was making it worse. i reminded him that it is my life and future and i would like to know what his intentions are and he would not say. the information on the lien came back with there being a few liens on the property. the real estate agent said that the seller assured them that when the house was sold she would pay the liens off and that she would bring in all of the paper work needed to prove that she would and could. my spouse is going to see a lawyer in the morning over this. he said since she signed the papers saying that there was not a lien then the contract is void. i asked him if i could go with him to the lawyer, he said no that it would be a conflict of interest for the lawyer (The lawyer advised him a few years back to sell our kids college fund and put it in just one kids name without telling me and had it sent to his dads house hoping that I would not find out, but I did at tax time), anyway i said it should not be a conflict because the house involves both of us and he should not have a problem talking to us both. my spouse still refuses and gets really upset when I tell him that I think I should go. He says I am making a big deal out of it and making things worse. so my question is,
1. Is it unreasonable of me to want to go to the lawyer to see what his thoughts are on the liens and if they really are not an issue if she can prove she can pay them?
2. Is it unreasonable of me to expect my spouse to discuss his thouths and plans for the future of the house?
3. why does my spouse not want me to go to the lawyer with him? would it really be a conflict for the lawyer?
There are so many more things that I do not undersand about him but it would take too long to get into. I thank you for reading this and giving me your feedback. i hope that you have a godd day.

Welcome to the board banjo2007,
1. Is it unreasonable of me to want to go to the lawyer to see what his thoughts are on the liens and if they really are not an issue if she can prove she can pay them?
No, it is not unreasonable that you want to go to the lawyer with him about the house (no matter what the reason is).
2. Is it unreasonable of me to expect my spouse to discuss his thouths and plans for the future of the house?
No, it's not unreasonable, espeically since you are married to him and you will be living there.