confused and sad
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confused and sad
| Wed, 01-28-2004 - 7:44pm |
I am very confused right now due to a relationship that I am in (or maybe not in). I have been dating this great guy for the past year and we had discussed marriage and kids pretty much throughout the year. In our first 8 months together, he told everyone, including both of our parents, that he was going to marry me. He also discussed kids much more than I did... he even had a name picked out. Anyhow, we decided to move to a new town at the 8 month mark... (I know it was soon, but I had no doubts about him.) Anyhow, a week before we moved he had a little freak out because he said he wasnt sure that he wanted kids and therefore didnt know if we should go through with the move. hmmm... I thought he was pretty stoked about kids?? Anyhow, he got over it and we moved, thing were good but I did feel a little bit of wedge between us. He started to be kindof distant on the sexual and emotional fronts and I just passed it off to being in a new town, not having his friends around and dealing with the adjustment of living together. After a few months he lost his job and was dealing with going back for a second degree. Financially he was overwhelmed and decided it would be best to go back home to save money and start school. The plan was for me to move back too as soon as my job ended a few months later. Anyhow, I went to visit him last week and he was very excited to see me, took me to get job applications and went looking at houses together. It was a great trip.. he told me numerous times that he loved me and missed me and I was feeling pretty content in our relationship. We had some good talks including marriage and kids and he seemed to deal with it okay. He even talked about setting a ring for me. Well, that was last week.. this week I asked him if he was okay because he was acting standoffish on the phone. He said that he is starting to have reservations about me moving there because he doesnt know if he wants kids... then he said that we should take this time to think about what we really want. I dont know what to think as I feel that he is just scared of commitment or something and he is using kids as a shield to keep me away. I believe he loves me and wants to be with me, but this is creating a wall and I dont know if he will get over it this time. I am not calling him for a while to let him think it over but I am scared that I am loosing him.

My advice would be let him call you. That way you know that he's at least interested enough to either tell you what's going on and try to fix it or let you know what he's decided. If it's not meant to be it's not meant to be. If he's the one it'll work out itself if not you'll find the right one eventually.
Good luck to you.