Confused Girlfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Confused Girlfriend
2
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 2:14am
Hope you can shed some light on this... I am a 25 years old man; I just found out that my girlfriend of over 3 years loves to watch gay pornography. I stumbled on this accidentally and confronted her about it. I am confused as this was not just a one-time curiosity....she enjoys watching gay (man-to-man) porn and masturbates to it. I am shocked by this and devastated. I don't know what to think. She said she loves me, and this is just a weird fetish of hers. when I asked her why she watches this...she said regular porn focuses too much on the female body and the only way she could get a video that focuses on the male anatomy is through gay pornography. I was disgusted by what I saw, I am a straight male. I don't think I could be intimate with her again without this image of two males having sex with each other—this is a turn-off for me, while it is a turn-on for her. I love her but I think this poses a problem for our relationship. She said she would stop watching the videos, by my concern is that this is not something that one can simply switch off.

I am afraid that to save our relationship she would say this but in reality she would still crave watching these videos and may do so behind my back. I am also concerned that maybe this would develop into a situation where she would fantasize and picture me with another man.

I am also concerned that she may feel that she is a gay man trapped in a woman’s body and she is just denying that because she doesn’t want to loose what we have.

Is this common? Please help shed some light on this….Thanks,

Markus

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-15-2004 - 10:12am
If she's a "gay man trapped in a woman's body" - then having sex with you would be "ideal" to her - would it not?

I think you've got the whole thing blown way out of proportion...the same way women get upset when guys watch porn and really enjoy the "two girls" portion of the video.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Fri, 04-16-2004 - 6:42am
I have fantasized about gay men before, and I can *assure* you that I am no male trapped in a female body. It's funny because lots of men have a fetish for lesbians, and it's common knowledge that two women together are what men say they fantasize about. Does that mean they all go out and have threesomes? No. So how come it's so disturbing when a female does it? Would you say that a man who fantasizes about women is really just a gay woman trapped in a mans body? I mean seriously...reading your post was like reading the ultimate double standard. Maybe she does want to experience a threesome, and if she does, it just means that she's not ready to commit to just one person right now. Otherwise, if she loves you and only wants to be with you, you need to deal with YOUR issue. Honestly, what is the difference between two gay males and two gay females?