Confused-Men, Ladies am I being selfish?
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| Thu, 03-04-2004 - 8:41am |
About a week or so ago, I called this guy I like, left a message and he didn't call back. Later that week, I still hadn't heard from him and sent a not so happy txt message to him. He responded by saying he was having a hectic week. So days go by and I still didn't here from him so he got another not so happy txt message. It was then that he told me his stepdad is in the hospital and his mom is all stressed so he's been having a lot on his mind. I explained how if he would have just come out and said that from the beginning, my reactions would have obviously been different.
Now knowing the situation, I called him maybe 1 or 2 days later and couldn't reach him. He sent a txt msg saying he apologizes for not being available, he's been doing stuff for his mom and frequently going to the hospital. It's been almost 2 wks since I talked to him and I totally understand his situation. Bu on one end I feel selfish because I WANT to call and talk to him and on the other end I feel "not right" because I feel like I NEED to call and talk to him while he's going through this. I don't want to keep trying to get in touch with him, but then I do...I'm so confused as to what I should do.

Let go. It never works to chase someone. He is being polite in his answers to you, but if he wanted to "go through this with you", or even commuincate with you at all, he would. If someone isn't answering or contacting you, that itself is a message. It simply means he doesn't want to. The more you chase him, the worse you will feel. Just let this go. If a guy wants to be with you, talk to you and spend time with you, believe me, he will find a way to do so.
All good wishes.
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
He is busy and stressed. Leave him alone. Maybe you will learn a lesson from this.
Edited 3/4/2004 10:57:46 AM ET by ciao_gina
I know him well, for 6 years and yes I do know his family. He is and never has been an open person. So sending "not so nice" messages to him when I'm upset is fine with me and him. He actually tells me to do it when he messes up.
I say give him some space. He has to WANT to share with you and be open with you. Or you will always be the one putting in the effort to get the relationship back on track.
My best to you.
Carrie