confused newlywed
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 03-23-2004 - 4:00pm |
So, we were engaged after an amazing proposal, but it wasn't long after when I began to see a change in my attitude and behavior. He noticed as well. I asked to wait on a wedding date, but he wouldn't budge on that. We've had many talks about this, and still do as I try to be more accepting, but it doesn't last. He is a wonderful guy who is supportive, loving, funny, smart...just everything great. He has stayed out with his friends and hasn't called, however, until the following day and other things like that, but we've worked through those times. Sometimes it seems as though I want stuff like that to happen so I have an excuse to cause a small argument. We also try to tell each other almost everything to keep communication open, so he knows exactly what my situation is. He keeps comparing me to the way I was when we were just dating because he said he had no issues with me then. I was happier, more affectionate, and more like the best friend and love of his life whom he wanted to marry.
I try, I really do. What is my problem?

Why exactly are you having problems commiting to him? What elements of your freedom independence have you lost that you would like to regain? Is there a way to talk to him about this and reach a compromise?
Ask youself, too, if you really want to be with this person. If the answer is yes, I would suggest counseling, either for you or as a couple, so you can figure out how you can be happy together.
I think that for whatever reason, you are afraind for things to reach a certain commitment level. Once it does, you look for reasons to back out. You need to look deep inside and figure out what causes these fgeelins...is it the relationship, or that you are just not ready to commit to anyone? This is something that you need to sort out, rather that drag him thru all of this, only to end everything..
Best wishes,