confused over boyfriends words

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
confused over boyfriends words
4
Sun, 02-01-2004 - 4:53am
my boyfriend of a year and a half and i have been fighting quite a bit lately, and over stupid stuff. he has a temper so a lot of times, it gets blown entirely out of proportion by him. but lately he has been saying everyday that he wants to break up, and him move out. but we always work it out (or so i thought) and we stay together. i am a cryer, and i always cry when he talks to me about breaking up because i carely for him soo much. i see us having a future together, and hopefully someday getting married. i believe he is the one. well today he told me that he doesnt see us ever getting married (when he had planned to propose to me next april ((05))), he has lost all intrest in me and doesnt know if he can regain it, he might cheat on me, because he hasnt had sex from me in a while, and he is going to look around and if a better girl comes along then hes going to talk to her, and take things from there. i cried of course, and he didn't care. he always said the whole i dont want to go out with you, i want to move back home with my family, so i can save up money. then he said that we are to young (both 19) and shouldnt be involved in a serious relationship. we should be out with our friends dating and fooling around with people. he said he didnt love me anymore, and didnt know if he could again. then he said he would stay with me, but for me to know that he is going to check out other girls, and i cant get mad if someone better comes along. so tonight we went to a movie, out to dinner, and hung out with some friends, and he changed. he kept kissing me, and telling me he loved me, and he always has. but whenever i bring up the whole if he has interst in me thing, he doesnt say anything. then i asked him if any girls tonight caught his eye and he said he didnt look because he was with me. what do i do?? and what does all of this mean?!? i am so confused and so heart broken that he could say those words to me. i just dont know what to do anymore. ((ooh and one more thing....all of this started because he has a friend who is a girl, who i dont like at all. she always flirts with him etc. he knows i dont like her, so for awhile they didnt talk...they arent good friends, they just talk here and there. then the other night she called him, and asked him to do something with her. they havent hung out together by theirself the entire time him and i have been going out. i told him, i didnt like the idea of them talking and hanging out, and he got mad and said i was trying to keep him away from his friends, and he would choose his friends over me anyday. and that he would hang out with her whenever he felt like it, regardless of what i thought)) someone please him me some advise!!!! thank you
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 02-01-2004 - 5:11am

hi there and hugs...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Sun, 02-01-2004 - 5:25am
hey, i know what you are saying might be true, but when he always stays after saying we are through without me saying anything, and he always says he loves me first, and gives me hugs and kisses first, and still takes me out, and cuddles with me when we sleep, it is hard for me to believe he really wants it over. he is one of those people who would just leave if he didnt want to talk to me or see me anymore that night. he would go to his parents house, or a friends house or something. so i dont know....i am just so confused by his words. we have some bad history behind us, and i think it is because of that he is saying things now, but when he stays i just dont believe he wants it over. he knows he can pack up and move out at any point.....he doesnt tho.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 02-01-2004 - 6:11am

well ok, then why are YOU letting him string you along this way? if he says he wants to break up - fine. let him break up. pack his stuff and leave it on the door step. he is just taking advantage of you if he TELLS you that he wants to break up, he TELLS you that he will go and look for someone else. you think that if he kisses you and cuddles you then "all is ok". its not.


and i read your other post - you say he lies as well. well - ok, so what are you doing with this guy again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 02-01-2004 - 12:33pm
You ARE too young. You NEED to leave. He's playing ya right now to his convenience. He wants to have his cake and eat it too and you are spoon feeding him every bite. You are gonna continue to be confused and miserable as long as you stay with him. He's obviously too immature to handle a real relationship right now.

Jennifer

"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi