confusing

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
confusing
3
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 9:02pm
I have been with my bf for a yr and have broken up for abt 2 wks plus. It is due to accumulation of problems that causes the break up. We had alot of arguements due to jealousy issue(as I'm someone with high jealousy), sensitivity and lies. I don't deny during the relation I told him 4 lies which was meant to be a white lie to prevent from arguement but I went to confess the lies after that as I was too guilty. After the broke up, I did ask him to consider abt our relation and he gave himself one wk. After that wk, as I can't control my emotions, I kept calling him and hence irritated him. He gave me a no for the reconcil. One wk after the consideration, he msg me again telling me he kind of miss me when he was lonely. I did something wrong by asking his friend what is a guys attitude when he actually misses a girl when he is lonely. For me personally, the first thing that came to my mind is "horny". He got to know that I ask his fren this qn n was reli piss off, he called n told me off telling me nv going to get back forever. But the nxt day, he msg to ask me to forget abt the whole issue and that I would be in his consideration list for the next gf. I tried to be a normal fren by msging him, he gave me a very cold reply to every sms. I got fed up and called him, he gave me a feeling actually he don't want this relation but was actually dragging time. What should I do? Should I still wait?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
In reply to: rinphang08
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 3:42am
No
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: rinphang08
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:36am
Girl I don't think you should wait for him. If he really wants you he'll come to you. Don't even reply to his messages. He knows that you like him a lot, so he's thinking he's never going to lose you. When he feels lonely he got his back up (THAT'S YOU). I think you should ignore him for awhile to see what's his reaction. If he doesn't call you in a week, forget about him. I know it hurts, but you'll get over it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: rinphang08
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 12:48pm
I think your time would be best spent on you. Now that you have identified your issues - being somewhat obessed with him, calling him and bugging him, and the other issue of bringing other people into your relationship (meaning contacting friends to get an opinion, especially when it gets back to him)..... you don't say how old you are and I don't want to insult you, but please take a step back and work on yourself. It will help.

If you move forward with your healing, you will be different, and he MIGHT see the change in you, if not, you will have at least made progress for you.

Reading material to consider:

Obsessive Love by Susan Forward

Are You The One For Me? Barbara DeAngelis

Rebuilding When a Relationship Ends, Bruce Fisher

Olive Juice...and Other Thoughts on Love, Heartbreak and Moving Forward by Eric Champnella

Don’t Call that Man – The Survival Guide to Letting Go – Rhonda Finding

I Used to Miss Him...But My Aim is Improving: Not Your Ordinary Breakup Survival Guide by Alison James

My best to you on your healing path.


Carrie