Confusing Actions

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2012
Confusing Actions
8
Mon, 02-20-2012 - 4:54pm

Hello All,

I am confused about what to do with my relationship. My boyfriend of 15 months has never told me if he loves me. He has never even said that he misses me or that i look good when i dress up. I have always believed that you should read more into a man's actions than words. So I have tried not to let this bother me. However, lately his actions have been confusing me. Some days he does incredibly sweet things for me and on other he acts indifferent towards the relationship.

Last month I was out of the country visiting my family (we're both first generation immigrants but from different countries) for ten days. I called him and we talked for an hour on Sunday night. I told him that I would call again Thursday night and to text me and let me know if he wasn't going to be able to talk then. He said ok. I called him Thursday night, he didn't answer the phone. I got a text from him Friday afternoon saying that he had left his phone in the car Thursday night when I called. It bothered me that but I didn't say anything.

This month I had to travel for work for 2 weeks and was going to have to spend the weekend away. In the first week I

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 11:07am

Re-read your original post!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2012
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 10:47am

Fissatore, I don't know where you read that

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 12:04am

Aren't you doing a LOT of "I can live with that" in this relationship?

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 02-20-2012 - 9:49pm

IMO there was a misunderstanding of what I wrote.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2012
Mon, 02-20-2012 - 8:29pm

I am not wanting constant communication. I have a busy life myself. But I want him to call when he says he is going to call. And if for some reason he cannot call then I want him to text me and say that he cannot call. I don't think that's crossing any boundaries.

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 02-20-2012 - 7:28pm

Could it be that there is not enough boundary communication?

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2012
Mon, 02-20-2012 - 6:06pm

No, he never used to call or text often. But he spent all his weekends and holidays with me. We took vacations together. I doubt he thought it was just casual. Anyway, my question is whether I should move on unless he contacts me or should I initiate contact and talk to him? After all, I did surprise him with my question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Mon, 02-20-2012 - 5:45pm

Perplexed, did he used to call and text you frequently?