confussed and hurt

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2003
confussed and hurt
2
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 4:56am
my man and i are in a strange place right now. on valentines day i found out that he met some girl at dinner with his friends. and that they spoke a few times. he lied about it until i played the message for him. then he told me that it was a girl that he met and she seemed nice. he said they talked once for 5 min. and then that was it. that he never called her back and pursued it because he realized it was a mistake. i know for a fact that she is not bothering with him but he cinfuses me. he leaves his stuff at our place but after a trip started to stay at his mothers house. he says he loves me and i thought that things were getting better. i thought that we were still commited to each other even though we are not using titles. i mean that is what we discussed. that we were not using boyfriend girlfriend titles but still commited. anyways he really wants me to trust him but i am hurt and having difficulty doing that. we love each other but i would never do that to him. i don't know what to say to him. i want him to know that he can't have his cake and eat it too. i refuse to be unofficial and with him at the same time. i just don't know what his problem is. he never had a problem commiting before and now he says he loves me and that he wants to be the man to make me happy, but then feels he has the right to call other girls. help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 9:51am
If you refuse to be 'unofficial' with him, then what are you doing with him still? What is up with 'not using titles'? Huh? How can you be committed but not be boyfriend/girlfriend? Was this his idea? I bet it was. He does want to have his cake and eat it too, and you are spoon feeding him every bite.

I think it's time to say goodbye to the schmuck.

My other question is what was he doing meeting some other girl on Valentine's Day? Where were you and why wasn't he with you????? I can see why you're hurt but you shouldn't be that confused...you know you're being taken for a ride.

Jennifer

"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 11:39am
Please explain "we were not using boyfriend girlfriend titles but still commited." I don't understand that one at all. Why would someone agree to be committed but not want to refer to you as his gf? Makes no sense to me. Personally, I would see that as a red flag. Any guy who is *my* Mr. Right would be honored, eager and happy as a clam to call me his gf, or I wouldn't be with him. It sounds to me like you're settling for chopped liver, but expecting it to taste like prime rib. That's my 2¢.


Edited 2/27/2004 11:41:11 AM ET by zurah