Constant texting driving me crazy!

Avatar for halliej25
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
Constant texting driving me crazy!
2
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 4:38pm
My boyfriend of 3 years and I are both 31 and I should start this by saying on the surface, we have a wonderful, loving relationship. He is incredibly kind and sweet and thoughtful to me. However, I would trade many of his kind 'gestures' for a bit more 'real' discussions and talking. I have been telling him off and on lately that I don't feel that we are getting closer, that I am still having trouble dealing with our past (I will explain in next paragraph) and that I need more from him. Specifically, and I can't believe I am at this point, it feels like something a mom would say about a child...his text messaging in general but specifically to other women is driving me INSANE!

A year into our relationship we went through a rough period. I found out he was texting/calling an ex he dated right before we got together. I knew something was up and asked him first, many times, he denied it THEN I snooped (after asking) Well the snooping provided some much needed validation. I ended things. We took time apart, ended up getting back together almost 2 years ago. Really worked on things at first, I worked hard (still see a counselor once/week) and have dealt a lot with my end of the deal, namely trust and snooping.

The one major thing I have asked is just for him to keep me informed, does he feel the urge to talk to others? For him to work on this as well, figure out why, keep the discussion alive with me to avoid anything. We are now at the point we spend every night together. I do not doubt his physical faithfulness - even during our issues a while ago, it was always about the emotional which I think has been MUCH harder than a one night stand would be.

Well, for the last few weeks I keep saying to him I am feeling vulnerable and need more discussion. He tells me things are fine and he is committed, etc. that he doesn't really talk to many others but they all know about me and he wouldn't do anything. I actually believe this...but to a certain degree. I think he keeps doors open, maybe not actively because he is thinking of physically acting on it, but because he enjoys the attention.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 4:54pm

Welcome to the board halliej25,


Have

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 5:31pm

Welcome to the board halliej25,


You need to tell your bf that you found this stuff and ask him to explain himself. Then tell him that if you find this one more time that you are out of there.


Would he be willing to go to counseling with you?

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