In contact with ex boyfriend
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In contact with ex boyfriend
| Fri, 03-09-2007 - 6:17pm |
I've been married for almost 6 years, with no children. About two months ago, my ex boyfriend emailed me, out of the blue. We hadn't talked in over 8 years, since he moved to another state. We had dated in high school and all through college-each other's first love. Over the years, I had thought about him; at times, wishing that we were still together. After the years had past, he was just a memory but still in my heart. When he contacted me, all of these emotions came back. At first we discussed very general things; life, work, family. He's married, with 2 little children. As our conversations and emails continued, things progressed. My emotions and feelings for the ex increased. Things he would say, I would overanalyze, read into them more than what was there. Things that he has said, I would interpret as flirting and hitting on (if we were single). I confessed that even though we both were married, that somewhere in my heart, I had always thought we would get back together. While I understand that we've both moved on, created families of our own, I can't help the feelings I'm starting to have. While I know the best thing to do is to stop talking to the ex, I want him in my life. I guess because I layed out my emotions to him, and he did not respond back with the same feelings, I am embarrassed now. At least if he said he felt the same way, but couldn't because of his family, it would make me feel better. I guess I just wish I knew why he contacted me after all these years? What is the reason? It couldn't be just a simple "hi how are you", could it?

Hi smithson and welcome to the board.
Just a quick response from me.
>>I guess I just wish I knew why he contacted me after all these years? What is the reason? It couldn't be just a simple "hi how are you", could it?<<
Of course it could be.
I was contacted by my first love a couple of years ago, and "Hi how are you" was exactly what it was about. We chatted at length on the phone and he came and met my family (including my sister and her family) and we had a fantastic catch up.
I found meeting him interesting because I realised what a nice guy he was, when I had previously been remembering more bad than good about the relationship. Rather than stirring up the past, meeting him has helped me put the past to bed. Just to make it clear, we did not discuss our prior relationship at all when we met again. It was more about finding out where our friends had ended up and who we had grown into as adults. Lots and lots of laughs and finding out what we'd discovered about life, the universe and everything. No different to a school reunion really.
The only weird thing was when we had a photo taken together, we were sitting and he put his arm over my shouder and I put my hand on his leg. It felt strangely comfortable even after 20 years apart. Of course, nothing more happened.
I have to admit, if he had professed feelings for me while knowing I am married, I would have been quite disturbed. While I may not have ignored the comment as your ex did, I would most certainly have put a stop to any thoughts of renewed feelings.
Over the past couple of years, this ex and I exchange emails about twice per year. Totally innocent and my husband reads the emails too.