controlling? Or just being a boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2004
controlling? Or just being a boyfriend
2
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 8:54am
I just want to get your opinion on this. my boyfriend and I have been fighting about it for days now.

We were suppose to go on a trip this weekend. We live in different states, and he wanted to meet half way.

Then, on Monday, he backed out, saying that he something else on his calendar, for year now, that he could not get out of, and that he forgot.

I accepted what he was saying. I already was making plans to get out of town, so I was a little disappointed, but I understood.

Then, my business partner, and her boyfriend, invited me to NY. Her boyfriend uses the company jet, and we could leave and be back by Monday. I was real excited, and I told my boyfriend, that if I got all my work done, I would leave.

All of a sudden, my boyfriend gets all upset, asking me, begging me, not to go. I asked him why? and it was because he was "jealous" I did not quite understand, I tried to. Then, he had to get off the phone.

Then, I told him my iternary, and he was all pissed off that I was still going. He blasted me for putting my work ahead of him, becuase I made it a point that if I did not get my work done, I would not go, but for him, I did not take his feelings into consideration, and blah, blah, I put mywork ahead of him, I etc..

I just did not get where he was coming from. We live in two different states anyway, and if he thinks I am going to do something, then I think his feelings are his problem, and not mine. I feel it is unfair that I dont go, just because he does not want me to.

I told him that too. And as for work, well at least that makes sense.

He finally said OK, but it concerned me that it was a big deal in the first place.

Is he being a psycho?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 11:07am
He is being unfair and letting his insecurities threaten your relationship. He should be happy that you have a great alternative for a fun weekend since he is the one who backed out.

And how are you putting your work before him and so what if it is just for the weekend. Do you work instead of seeing him?

Is he jealous or controlling in other ways?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sat, 08-14-2004 - 1:36pm
I agree with gina and would only add:

He made plans with you, then backed out saying something had been on the calendar for a year (hmmm, but he forgot when he made plans with you? Doesn't sound like they were that importan if he forgot about them.)


Carrie