Could it be happening again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Could it be happening again?
6
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 11:13am
I am a divorcee and currently in a year long relationship. Everything is so wonderful, but I feel as though he is doing the same thing my ex did to me. My ex lied to me several times about posting ads on singles websites. Now my current boyfriend is doing the same thing. I searched his history and he is very interested in posting ads and searching for single women in our area. I want to trust him, but when I see things like this I automatically feel betrayed. He gets upset with me when I ask him to let go of his "female" friends from several years ago, since they call him at all hours of the night. We continue to argue when it comes to his "friends". Not only that, but he tells me that I should feel lucky because I'm the only female he has been faithful to this long. Is there any reason to be alarmed or am I paranoid?!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 11:24am

Yes, you should be alarmed!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 11:54am
'he tells me that I should feel lucky because I'm the only female he has been faithful to this long.'

Yikes! If being faithful after a year is such a remarkable thing for him then take it as a red flag and run! He is already showing signs of wanting to cheat if he hasn't already. Please don't put up with this any longer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 12:22pm
You should be very alarmed by his behavior and attitude. But you should also listen to your intuition. You said it yourself, you have been here before with your ex and now your current boyfriend is doing the same thing. I really think that you should think about what's really important to you - to have part of a man who says that you should feel lucky or a whole man who will be as faithful and committed to you and you would be to him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2003
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 10:56pm
It's funny I stumbled upon this because just recently around christmas time my whole family got together at my parents. Including my Bro & his SO & Me & Mine,Etc. Anyway His girlfriend had gone out for a walk when I happened to see my brother was on Matchmaker. I asked him "What Are You Doing?" B/c As far as he has told everyone his current SO is special,he wants to marry her,blah blah blah.My brother & I have a really open relationship & I don't believe he'd lie to me but all he said is he was only looking & had no intention whatsoever to hook up with any of these girls. I believe him but I also told him how disrespectful & tacky he was & how would he feel if the tables were turned...Anyway at the same time he has never told his g/f that this has been the longest he's gone w/o cheating.


How does your SO treat you mostly? Honestly if I were you & really believed him to be worth my time I would go on the "singles site" as an attractive willing girl (get a pic off the internet or something & not an "obvious" one, then I'd see if he responds...If so It will hurt but it's better to know now than later. I must also add that guys like this(my bro. included) need to grow the hell up & learn how to treat women with respect. I, myself would never put up with that crap. You are special too. Don't Forget About You!!

Good Luck To You! HUGS!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 12:09am
A cheater is always a cheater...You should stay as far as you can from this one. Unless you want to have threesome with him and what ever other woman he wants.

From a males perspective point...

Good thing you are not married to him...because after the second time with the soon to be ex-wife...I just about had it with relationships for now.

Good luck and best wishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 11:46am
If it's not happening yet it will be, That is basically what he told you. You are LUCKY, Lucky you figured this guy out before you got to wrapped up. You have already said he won't sacrifice a couple of phone calls to make you happy! I am sure you dont want to put yourself through the same ordeal again. I wouldnt waste another breath on this guy! Find some one who is willing to sacrifice little things to make you happy, appreciates you and some one you never have to check up on you just know you can trust! Go with you intuition!

Good Luck!