counseling

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
counseling
1
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 1:47pm
I posted yesterday about dh not talking to me and that he is really angry at me. Well, last night I initiated a conversation. We didn't really talk much but it wasn't so bad. I asked him if he wanted us to go to counseling. He said that he was already thinking about him going to counselling by himself. I guess it's a good thing for him but I don't understand how it'll help us because he doesn't want me to go to couseling with him. He din't answer me when I asked him why he feels it's not a good idea for us to go together. Did any of you or your SO been to counseling along to help your relationship?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
In reply to: dinadon72
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 7:39am
I have just started going to counseling on my own to try and help my relationship.

To fill you in on the reasons...I am getting married in 9 weeks (to my DF who I have been with for 7 years) and a few weeks ago met another guy who I ended up kissing (never been unfaithful to DF) we then were in contact for a few days and met up again and ended up in bed together. OM went away shortly after and he is gone away until 3 weeks before my wedding.

The fact that this happened and how OM made me feel made me start thinking about my marriage and my committment to DF. I felt like I was having some sort of breakdown and really needed to go to speak with someone so I went to a counselor on my own. After that I then told my DF about everything that happened and he was obviously really mad but said he is willing to work on things and try and get through.

I am still not 100% sure of my feelings and with only 9 weeks to go to the big day I am in a panic as to whether or not to go through with the wedding. So I told my DF that I was going to a counselor to help me sort out my feelings. I suggested he go also on his own and that maybe we then have a few sessions together. He is not so sure but I am going anyway. I told him it will be a good investment if it helps me decide that I do want to marry him!

His fear is that it will make me think I don't want to marry him but as I said rather that now than in a couple of years - at least we could move on with our lives.

I would not worry about him going on his own - you may see a great improvement in him....and this might even lead him into then bringing you with him.

I hope it all works out for you and your dh