coworker is pressuring me
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coworker is pressuring me
| Thu, 07-08-2004 - 7:28pm |
Hi i am 28 years old living with boyfriend for 2 years. My relationship is great with ups and downs but good. I work in this company that there are about 50 people and there is one guy who's 18 and will be 19 soon that we both started working the same day. They trained us together and became good friends. We used to talk a lot and have good times at work but there were some times where he will complement me alot and i used to say thanks but that was all. Well he continued to do so but to much and i let it go until a month ago i told him that i will not have anything to do with him besides friends to talk. He always says ok but he will try to make me fall each time. I have talked to him nicely that i don't want to hear those things anymore and i even got mad many times. I never do what he tells me to do or follow him for no reason but he just doesn't stop. He tells me that he doesn't care if i am with boyfriend and that he wants me. He tells me that he will leave his girlfriend to be with me. I keep on telling him stop and he won't. Today i told him stop pressuring me and his face changed. He said what ever and he smiled. He also siad I will try tomorrow. I am feeling pressure from this guy. I don't know what to do anymore. I like him as a friend but not as something else but he doesn't get it. He calls me from his phone to mine all day, writes me notes, comes by my office like 10 times a day. I feel desesperate and plus my boyfriend met him once while visiting my office. Please help? what should i do? Thanks

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Carrie
You're 28, you love the attention, you find it flattering that a 19 year old boy toy would "do you" - and you cotninuously tell him no but don't stop interacting and conversing.
you're conducting yourself like the proverbial 'date rape" victim - who says no while getting in the back seat and getting naked to do "everything but".
You find this flattering, the guy is NOT going to leave his girlfriend fro you - although if you're more optioned and financially secure and were available to support him - he might go for that.
So, quit complaining and just admit that you enjoy the attention, you fantasize about how well he'd "do you" while hving sex with your boyfriend, and the only reason this probably concerns you now is that your coworkers are beginning to wonder why you can't conduct yourself with responsiblity and authority and maturity and stop interacting with himi except professionally while lamenting about his come ons. they know you like the attention.....because when he's around you're all atwitter and aglow.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
The reply from Doubleblade is mean spirited. I would completely disregard it if I were you.
Cindy
that's what you're sayinig about the OP...that's she's incapable of handling herself in social and professional situtions. You're saying that osmeone needs to look out for her, not do whatever it is that makes her uncomfortable or ill at ease becauseshe can't "handle" her feelings.
I'm absolutely NOT putting the OP at that level of immaturity. I'm saying that if she'll honestly admit it she likes the attention. that she doesn't necessarily like the "level" it's gotten to - but she doesn't come right out and tell him to stop or she'll report him to HR. Or that if he shows up anywhre around her besides work she'll file a stalking complaint with the police. She simply wants him to stop making suggestions and comments to her...while still gazing at her from afar.
Because if she didn't want the attention...if it was coming from someone that really scared her, or that she considered totally unattractive - she'd have no trouble putting off a totally business-like and serious attitude and following it up with action if what she requested wasn't adhered to on his part 210% ASAP.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
Maybe you should pull the guy aside (not too far aside, though... you might not want to be alone with this wacko), and tell him straight up that you're uncomfortable with how he treats you and that you want it to stop.
If he does it again, you should go straight human resources department immediately. Show them the notes he wrote you if you still have them....
Good luck,
Elmira
He MIGHT lose this job...but it'll teach him what not to do on all jobs in the future.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
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