At a crossroads
Find a Conversation
At a crossroads
| Fri, 11-16-2007 - 9:56pm |
I'm not sure where this goes but I guess I'll try here. My boyfriend and I have been in a "relationship" (2.5yrs as a couple,yrs months on a "break up") I talked to him telling him that we need help with getting our relationship back on track, during our breakup he's had sex with a number of different people and yes we are still having sex. I've giving up on trying to understand why he does the things he does, I'm to a point where I don't want to leave him but I want to venture out myself, without him knowing cause then he'll leave. I have even once put up an ad for a one night fling and enjoyed the responses but only flaked

"I have even once put up an ad for a one night fling and enjoyed the responses but only flaked out"
Come on, will you at least try to deal with this in a healthy way? I'm glad you flaked out but this is not the answer.
Your relationship is obviously over if you both want to be with other people but are too scared to leave. You know what you have to do, you're just not doing it. Build up some courage, take that step and go. Having 2.5 years under your belt with someone is NOT a reason to stay. Not every long-term relationship was meant to work out, most were not. But you gained experience (I hope) and now you have to leave.
Hi goddess_elle12,
I don't even know where to start...
:: I talked to him telling him that we need help with getting our relationship back on track,
What does he say to this?
::during our breakup he's had sex with a number of different people and yes we are still having sex.
I hope you are having protected sex every time.
-Right now our schedule are so jammed packed that he suggested that we don't do counseling, I also suggested doing some things to get closer as a couple but we have yet to do them. I really just don't know what to do I thought of giving a ultimatum but I heard that would be bad if you actually didn't go through with it and right now I'm not ready for that.
-sadly, we don't have protected sex...
-Trying to understand why he does things is hard, I believe he acts like this do to how he was raised. Both his parents and grandfathers were unfaithful, so its pretty much all he knows. And I'm on the other end with parents and grandparents that have been together for years.
-I want to venture out, not just physically with someone even though that how it was written. I also mean with friends and other stuff that may come up when I want. Yes its a double standard in our relationship and it erks me so much
-The one night thing wont help cause I know it will be in the moment relief, and cause more pain for me.
I'm going to check out the books you suggested and hopefully I can find myself once more
Thanks.