crumbling relationship
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crumbling relationship
| Fri, 09-17-2004 - 12:00am |
Hi all,
I am new to this so please bear with me and give whatever advice you can. Okay, to start off with, let me say that I am in a relationship with a man that I truly love. We have been together for almost 2 years...this being the longest relationship I have been in.
We recently moved in together (about 3 months ago) and I've noticed some problems cropping up. We both go to school full time and have different schedules so we don't see each other as much as we normally would. I also work part time, and combine that with going to classes and craploads of homework, I tend to get quite stressed out and exhausted. This combo of barely seeing each other and being stressed all the time is hurting our relationship, I know. But there are more things that are really starting to bother me about my b/f and I'm not sure what to do. He doesn't have a job and has no money. I only work about 15 hours a week, which cannot pay all of our bills and get groceries too. In fact, our electric bill was due 3 days ago, and he doesn't seem worried at all that we have no money to pay it right now. It really bothers me that he doesn't care about looking for a job. But I don't know how to approach him about it without sounding like a nag. I've mentioned jobs that were listed in the newspaper and stuff, but he still has not gone anywhere to get applications or talk to anyone. It's getting to the point where I don't want to be around him because I'm so annoyed and frustrated that I'm afraid I'm going to blow up at him. It also pisses me off when I come home from a full day of classes and work to see him playing video games and hanging out while I'm busting my butt for minimum wage.
I am new to this so please bear with me and give whatever advice you can. Okay, to start off with, let me say that I am in a relationship with a man that I truly love. We have been together for almost 2 years...this being the longest relationship I have been in.
We recently moved in together (about 3 months ago) and I've noticed some problems cropping up. We both go to school full time and have different schedules so we don't see each other as much as we normally would. I also work part time, and combine that with going to classes and craploads of homework, I tend to get quite stressed out and exhausted. This combo of barely seeing each other and being stressed all the time is hurting our relationship, I know. But there are more things that are really starting to bother me about my b/f and I'm not sure what to do. He doesn't have a job and has no money. I only work about 15 hours a week, which cannot pay all of our bills and get groceries too. In fact, our electric bill was due 3 days ago, and he doesn't seem worried at all that we have no money to pay it right now. It really bothers me that he doesn't care about looking for a job. But I don't know how to approach him about it without sounding like a nag. I've mentioned jobs that were listed in the newspaper and stuff, but he still has not gone anywhere to get applications or talk to anyone. It's getting to the point where I don't want to be around him because I'm so annoyed and frustrated that I'm afraid I'm going to blow up at him. It also pisses me off when I come home from a full day of classes and work to see him playing video games and hanging out while I'm busting my butt for minimum wage.
And on top of all of this, I'm the one who does the laundry (which he just piles on the floor of our bedroom) and the only one recently to do the dishes. I've asked him many times to do dishes or help clean up while I'm gone, but hardly anything is ever done. I just don't know what to do anymore.
We're both young(only 21) and in the most serious relationship either of us has been in. But sadly, I've been having doubts about if we are "right" together and if I should maybe end it. I'm so confused because I love him, but I don't know what to say to him to make things better. To make myself happy again.
I would definately appreciate someone else's perspective on this.
Thanks

If he doesn't agree, then I think you should find different living arrangements asap. He won't be unemployed, playing video games if someone else isn't there "footing the bill" for him. Look out for yourself, you sound like you worry about expenses and school. You have your priorities straight. Don't let yourself ruin your current (and possibly) future finanical record by defaulting on bills because your b/f won't do his part.