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| Sun, 03-14-2004 - 2:58pm |
Recently, I have brought up the discussion of cheating. I told her a while ago, that if she ever did something (of a cheating behavior, and that includes kissing) with someone else, I would leave her at an instant. (For background purposes she cheated on her ex boyfriend numerous times because she didnt want to date him anymore). Recently she has told me that if she ever did cheat that she would not tell me because she would be afraid to lose me. I told her that one has a right to know that someone has been unfaithful to him and she responded saying that if she "made a mistake" one night because she was frustrated with me, then she would not tell me because it wasn't a huge ordeal and she wouldn't want to hurt me. She also told me that if I were to do something stupid one night (like kiss a girl-friend) she would be upset but she would get over it. Last night she told me that she had several dreams in which I thought she was cheating and I was correct, but the conversation never really went any further.
I also recently found at least 15 emails from Bret (and of course replied to each of them). The emails insinuate that some sort of relationship had taken place, but of course she doesn't know that I found the emails.
I don't want to accuse her of anything nor do I want to assume anything happened. The facts are clear, however. Something did take place and I'm waiting for her guilt to get the best of her and tell me the truth.
Please help me with any suggestions on how to confront my girlfriend about my thoughts of her cheating. I really need this help because I can't go to sleep at night. Thanks.
Ross

Don't confront her...>DUMP HER!
If she cheated on the EX without feeling guilty, she's obviously playing the same game with you...this time with Brett.
And whether Brett knows it or not....he'll be the next in line to be cheated on.
There are too many wonderful women out there who want ONLY ONE MAN...and that's where you need set your sites. You don't need to listen to her stale tunes or excuses any longer.
Pianoguy
Her behavior and choices, reflect her morals and values. And her morals and values justify not telling you, justify cheating, justify that she's probably lied to you.
If you just gotta confront her, print out the emails and tell her that these strongly suggest a 'relationship' and because of her past choices (cheating on her ex-bf) that you don't feel you can trust her and it's better if you went your separate ways.
Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie
she isnt' ever going to tell you.
I will wait until the end of the semester to see if her guilt ever gets the best of her. Why wait you ask? Well, we are currently taking two classes together and if we break up before school ends, I really don't want to be in a class with her.... it would just be awkward. So, that's the main reason why I want to wait. Plus, I've been giving subtle hints everyday about making her think about the idea of cheating in general. Ex. telling her that the show "Cheaters" is really great. Something similar to those lines. Anyway, that's my decision. If anyone still has some comments, please feel free to post them. I'll keep you updated on the situation.
Thanks for everyone's help.
Ross
To sit around waiting for "guilt to surface" is a bad idea. In the meantime you are stewing in suspicion in anger and can't sleep at nights.
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
I shared your posts and the replies with my boyfriend via email....here's what he wrote back to me:
I guess he won't really leave her in an instant then.
Carrie
She may never understand the lesson you are trying to teach her. Some lessons are better learned on their own.
Good luck to you.
Carrie