dating sites

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2012
dating sites
7
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 4:26pm

Hi, i need some impartial advice please,

Il try and make this very short, i met my bf 7mths ago, we were together 3 weeks when i found out i was pregnant from a previous relationship, the babys dad didnt want anything to do with me or baby, but my new bf said he wanted to stay with me and see how it goes, we have since talked about names, and moving intogether as soon as baby is born, and everything was going great. Then 1 night my friend from work txt me and said did i no that he was on the dating site Plenty Of Fish?, i said he told me he was on loads when he was single, so he must have just not deleted his profile, and that i doubt if hes still useing it. she said it showed that he had last logged on just befor xmas..... so my heart sank a bit, and i decided to make up a fake prof, no photo or hardly any info about myself, and sent him a msg asking if he would like to chat. I was gobsmacked to get a reply back within the hour??????

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 7:51pm

Since you said you didn't have a picture and probably didn't use details that he could identify, I think it's highly unlikely that he knew it was you & was just joking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 12:45am

You don't want to be on your own?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 1:05am

Sorry but I have to agree with musiclover. Unless there was something in your profile that could have identified you, I don't see how he could have known it was you. Besides, just the fact that he responded at all proves that he's still logging in on there now, so the "I haven't been on there for a over a year" line is a lie. Personally I would not buy it at all that he knew it was you. And if he's so easily agreeing to meet strange women like that, he's putting himself and you at risk for AIDS and STDS and such. If it were me I would not trust this guy and unload him ASAP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2012
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 6:47am
Thankyou, i no your right, iv just got to find the strength to finish it now, i only see him once a week anyway because he works nights, but hes invited me round for tea tonight, out of the blue (guilty conscience?) wish me luck, i feel sick and just want to burst into tears, but i need to do this face to face ( or should i just send him a msg to his POF profile? which is still on there by the way xx
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2012
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 6:49am
Thankyou, i no your right, and thats what my friend said, i have to finish it, but feel like crying all the time, so i need to get my strength up first. thanx again for your reply xx
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 11:05am

I don't even think you should see him face to face since he might try to convince you to come back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 12:25pm

I agree with musiclover (she gives great advice). I wouldn't feel compelled to break up in person if you don't want to. It would be a courteous thing, but since he is lying to you, does he really deserve courtesy? Not really.

I know that since you are expecting soon it may be really tempting to build a new relationship into a father figure for your child... But please remember that in order to be a good father for your baby, you have to get to know a man for a while first (at the very very least a year), and he has to be a good compatible partner for YOU. It is really sad that this guy turned out to be a snake oil salesman, but you really don't know the full content of a man's character until after about a year of knowing him. This is why it's best to take things slowly with a new relationship, so you aren't badly burned if things don't turn out well. It's really easy to feel strongly about someone early on, but your knowledge of his character takes time to build.