Dating VS. Just Friends
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| Wed, 09-29-2004 - 10:42pm |
The reason I ask is this...
My boyfriend of a year just moved two hours away because he decided to go back to school. The reason he moved so far away is his brother and a friend needed another roomate for their house, and my boyfriend needed to move out of his house. He's 23 and I'm 19 and we seem to disagree as to what consitutes as "dating" other people.
This is what I told him I thought constituted as dating... "Taking another girl out to dinner or to see a movie or whatever, and him paying for her." He thinks this is ridiculous. He thinks it's perfectly fine to take a girl out and pay for her if they are just friends. So I said "Would you pay for Travis (a male friend) when you went out and did something?" he said that's different. I don't think it is.
This is what he told me was dating..."If you like the other person or they like you and you spend alot of time with them."
Am I totally wrong here?

Pianoguy thinks either a man or a woman "can occasionally pick up the tab" for a movie, dinner, sporting event or something special. However...it doesn't mean that any dating has to be involved. It's a nice friendship gesture.
Lots of friends have been nice enough to buy me dinner (or a surprise gift)...and I try to reciprocate in a similar way. We like each other as friends...and nothing more! Doesn't mean I want to be exclusive!
With your b/f's recent move, you might want to concentrate on how much the 2 of you are seeing each other...as opposed to 'who pays for what?'
Pianoguy
Whenever a partner (b/f or g/f) goes through changes in their life, the focus is on getting settled. This doesn't necessarily mean you aren't part of the equation.
Problem is...you have to learn to accept the change. And when you've been in close contact with anybody for a long time...and that person takes off...you have to make an adjustment. So rather than concentrate on whether or not your b/f will 'make an effort' to keep your relationship going...how about concentrating on the events in your life?
Trust me...if the 2 of you are supposed to be together...it'll be very clear within the next few months...one way or the other!
Pianoguy
I think if they trade off 'buying' then it might not be considered dating or if they go dutch. But he's playing with fire and risks devoloping strong feelings for 'just a friend' the more he hangs out with her.
My best to you.
Carrie
Anyway, I wouldn't stress out about it...unless he is taking out only one girl alone and paying for her frequently. I mean, couldn't they hang out in a group? Unless it's alone a LOT I wouldn't worry too much. Just my opinion.
Good luck!