Deal breaker - soon to be husband reveal
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| Thu, 07-24-2008 - 2:55am |
I'm in need of some sound advice.
I'm engaged to be married to a man that I love dearly and who I trust completely. We did have trust issues in the beginning of our relationship that took a lot of time and work to iron out.
The issue is that last night, my fiance revealed he had had a one night stand with his best female friend over years ago (before we met). Not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But, the reason I am so upset is that I had asked him MULTIPLE times whether he had every hooked up with this friend, and every single time, he told me no.
What makes me even more upset is that he asked her to be a speaker at our wedding before he revealed his past to me. He asked her to speak at our wedding knowing that I had no idea about their past together.
What makes it even worse is that I've never liked this friend because she is not very nice to me and is a little too close for comfort with my fiance. He admitted that in the past, he was flattered by her admiration due to his own insecurities, but has, years ago, gotten past that. He remained friends with her because she was a great friend to him years ago when he was going through a tough time with his family.
I don't believe he's attracted to her, and frankly, don't think he ever was.
What bothers me even more is that her husband has no idea of their past b/c she refuses to tell him. I'm also bothered by the fact that my fiance was a "bridesman" at their wedding knowing that her husband had no idea about their fling.
I thought I could trust the man, but the fact that it took him this long to tell me and that he lied to me several times has eroded my trust.
What should I do?
Edited 7/24/2008 2:59 am ET by gamaleas

Welcome to the board gamaleas,
If you are having doubts then at the least I think you need to postpone wedding and/or seek some premartial counseling. If the issue isn't resolved before the marriage, it will only create problems during it.
Why would he want her to speak at your wedding if a) you don't like her and b) she isn't very nice to you? Seems a little strange to me.
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Welcome to the board gamaleas,
Wow, I could have written your post with a few minor changes.