If he agreed to the terms of not communicating with her as a condition to getting back together with you, and you now know he's not honoring that condition....what more do you need? You will always wonder, the mistrust will eat at you. You can't spend your life (time with him) wondering if he's honest, honoring his agreement.
Personally, I'd print the email and write on it, you made your choice. And be gone from his life, period.
Oh, to answer your question, no you are not wrong for being upset. He lied - he's still communicating with her AND he didn't tell you about it. Also, if he met someone and flew across country to see her I wouldn't believe that they didn't sleep together. Not many people would spend that kind of money, invest that time and energy without experiening a connection and not follow through on it. You have every right to feel what you feel.
My heart goes out to you. I may be a guy so rightnow this may sound like crap. But, I know how you feel. I have been there and I am still dealing with it. (Would you do the same. posted April 15/16th) It sucks I know it does. You have every right to be mad and hurt. And ask yourself would you rather be in complete ignorance to the problem? Probably not. It may not hurt as much but no one wants to be screwed around on. And finding out the truth is finding out the truth. He will probably be mad about how as my ex is. But, to what point would letting him get away with it is enough. So to answer your question from a guys point of view who has just been there NO you are not in the wrong for being upset. You have every right. Now what you do with that pain is up to you. Do you feel there is enough love that he will tell her forget about it? Trust is a big thing, but you trust a doctor you love your partner. So I would ask him if he truely loves you. And if he says yes confront him. Then ask him again if he truely loves you still. Just don't feel wrong for feeling bad they are YOUR feelings after all.
Sometimes love isn't enough. Sure, I trust my dr. but I also trust my SO. I think love and trust often go hand in hand.
Can you stay with him knowing he will lie and cheat? Because that is what he's doing. He's lied about what went on when he went to California - Yeah right!! She's just a "friend" and he went all the way to California with her but never mentioned her to you? Promised never to talk to her again and now he is. He has proven himself a liar and a cheater. Can you live with that? When you ask if he truly loves you and he says "yes", will you be able to believe him knowing he's already lied?
You can confront him if you want to, but you'll probably hear "We're just friends and I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be mad. Darn right you'd be mad!! And you should be. He is betraying you by going behind your back to talk to her - the cause of the loss of trust in your relationship to begin with (his actions).
You deserve waaaay better than this and there ARE guys out there who do not do this sort of thing. I think you should kick this one to the curb.
Personally, I'd print the email and write on it, you made your choice. And be gone from his life, period.
Oh, to answer your question, no you are not wrong for being upset. He lied - he's still communicating with her AND he didn't tell you about it. Also, if he met someone and flew across country to see her I wouldn't believe that they didn't sleep together. Not many people would spend that kind of money, invest that time and energy without experiening a connection and not follow through on it. You have every right to feel what you feel.
Good luck on your decision.
Carrie
Can you stay with him knowing he will lie and cheat? Because that is what he's doing. He's lied about what went on when he went to California - Yeah right!! She's just a "friend" and he went all the way to California with her but never mentioned her to you? Promised never to talk to her again and now he is. He has proven himself a liar and a cheater. Can you live with that? When you ask if he truly loves you and he says "yes", will you be able to believe him knowing he's already lied?
You can confront him if you want to, but you'll probably hear "We're just friends and I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be mad. Darn right you'd be mad!! And you should be. He is betraying you by going behind your back to talk to her - the cause of the loss of trust in your relationship to begin with (his actions).
You deserve waaaay better than this and there ARE guys out there who do not do this sort of thing. I think you should kick this one to the curb.