desperate for advice-fast...please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
desperate for advice-fast...please!
13
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 8:58pm
Hey. I gotta make this kinda quick, so i'll just try to give as much detail as brief as i can. Ok, me and my ex fiance broke up about a yr and a half ago. We broke up b/c we were fighting alot...most on my part. but we both really did love eachother. Anyway, me and my ex still talk sometimes&i still love him&know he still cares about me. We don't see eachother very much at all. But my problem is...i want to get back together...but he says he doesn't have time for a relationship. But then other days he tells me how much he still loves me&still wants to be with me someday....i just dont know if that'll ever happen. 'cause he keeps givin me mixed signals&it has been a long time. Ok, well...my point of this letter is...i'm going to see him tonight&i don't know how i should act around him...or what i should say. i mean, should i act interested&flirt w/him 'n stuff. or should i maybe just back off for once&make him come to me. I'm just really nervous, and desperately need someone elses advice on my situation...and maybe in the next 30 min....please...ANYONE. I've been waiting for a yr and a half&i've gotten nowhere. thanks for ur time

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2004
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 1:51am
I can tell that what you want to hear is he's still madly in love with you and he IS really busy and you will both live in an ivy covered cottage for the rest of your lives. Believe me, I truely hope this comes true for you and your life is filled with joy and happiness. Alas, I believe that when a guy says he's too busy for a relationship it's code for "I don't have time for YOU. I Do have time for the red head with the big -----." What really bothers me is the way your family is totally unconcerned with putting you in what could end up being a very uncomfortable and embarrassing situation. Their lack of concern and sensitivity to your feelings is shocking. Other then that, I truely wish you luck and happiness.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 11:27am
First of all, u did tell me what i want to hear&everyone has, 'cause all i want to hear is your honest opinions. And thank u guys so much for that. I really needed to hear someone elses opinion on my sitiation....it helps me alot on what to do. The thing is is that even if he is seeing someone or is interested in someone else...i'm almost positive that he isn't sleeping w/them or anything 'cause if he was really serious about someone, he wouldn't ever talk to me at all. I just know him&he's not like that. I'm not sayin' he hasn't done anything w/any girl since we broke up, but even if he did...we're broke up...so he hasn't done anything wrong. It's hard to explain...but u just have to know the guy to understand what i'm sayin. Also about my family&friends not thinkin' about my feelings...they know how i feel about him&they know how he feels about me...and they see us together&we get along just fine. So i guess they just don't see a problem w/bringing him around....they know i want him around. Which is good because he's gonna be around for a long time. The business right now isn't at my house. But they always come here first&we take them food sometimes 'n stuff like that....so i will be around him. But i still am going to ask him if he's interested in anyone else&hopefully he'll be honest with me. I really dont think he is now b/c he doesn't go to school anymore&now i talk to him everyday...mostly in test msgs, but he is just acting way more interested now. I think quiting school took alot of stress off him&now he has more time for me. He even told me yesterday that he wants to come over sometime&visit w/my parents since he hasn't seen them in awhile. And he wouldn't be saying all this stuff if he was interested in someone else. I don't know...i guess nobody really does know w/guys. i could be wrong. But i'll definetely let u guys know what happens. Thanks for the advice&i'll definetely keep it in mind
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 10-06-2004 - 1:17pm
::i'm almost positive that he isn't sleeping w/them or anything 'cause if he was really serious about someone, he wouldn't ever talk to me at all

Keep your eyes open. Sleeping with and being serious are two different things.


Carrie

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