Desperate to know.. Is there hope?
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Desperate to know.. Is there hope?
| Mon, 09-20-2004 - 3:46pm |
My boyfriend is 27, I'm 22.. We were together for 10 months and saturday night he decided it was best for us to go our separate ways.. We argue a lot lately and every time we decide we need to talk it out and find out why we fight so much, but then he gets caught up and just puts it behind us and he tries to forget about it and say we're working it out..when we never tried to work things out.. Now it's over and I'm so sad and I cried all day yesterday and I can't eat.. He came over to drop off some of my stuff yesterday and he said previously that he wasn't going to stop and talk, he didn't want to make it harder on either of us.. But he did stay and talk for a few minutes and I cried and said it wasn't fair to end something that was so wonderful when we never even sat down and talked about things and tried to figure out what our problems were.. He agreed, but he said he just things it's best to be by himself "for now".. That "FOR NOW" was like a beam of light.. of hope.. He said he's not going to go find someone else.. and he wishes things were different, but he has a bunch of insecurities and he just wants to be alone for a while.. Did his saying "for now" mean that he wants to get together again? I was a wreck just crying all day yesterday, I love him so much.. When he said for now it just lifted a huge weight off my heart.. But now I'm affraid he meant "for now" for himself, not for us.. I don't know what to do, leave him alone? Give him his time?? I'm a mess, it's so hard to focus on work when I keep crying.. My boss is getting really mad that I can't leave my emotional life at home but when I get upset it just engulfs my mind and I can't help it. I'm emotional. Is my boyfriend trying to say something by what he said or is it over or what can I do to get him back? I keep overanalyzing this situation and it's driving me crazy.. I'm at work so I can't really act on my emotions and vent and that's also driving me nuts. I want to call him SOOO BAD but I know that will only drive him away.. But I'm so affraid of losing him... What do I do? I'm feeling sooo bad... It's insane that another person can make you feel this way. I feel rejected, lonely, hurt, and I miss him so much.. I already hadn't seen him in a week, we decided to take some time apart while he had his daughter.. My heart hurts.. What do I do???

Only time will tell. But you have to focus on you and your emotional well-being. You happiness can't and shouldn't come from being in a relationship with him. So make a list of things you enjoy and start doing them. Journal write daily, vent on paper. Write him a few UNSENT letters telling him how you feel about everything etc. Then burn them. Don't call him, give him his space and let him miss you.
Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie
the first thing is i know its hard to not cry at work, but you really need to try and work, the last thing is to lose your job, or even let him know you lost your job over him. i know its very hard, dont call him, if you dont it will make him wonder, wow, she hasnt called, and it will have him call you. and try not to cry infront of him or if he calls. my heart goes out to you, i know what your going through, and i still can't accept it myself, but everything happens for a reason, and maybe its to bring you two closer and understand fighting before wasn't worth it, and make you two appreciate eachother more.