Perhaps you could have a private session with her also. Then if you feel she is still blaming you for all the problems, you can bring it up to her and see what she says about it.
My H felt that way about our marriage counselor, too. I would go in there and bring up something and she would turn to him and say, well? He didn't like having someone validate my hurt feelings or question his behaviors. For a long time it was very one sided that way and he felt attacked, but you know, I'm not perfect and there are times when she turns to me and says why are you being a jerk? (in psychobabel, naturally). It just happens that initially, he behavior was being called on a lot. Our marriage counselor used to see H individually many years ago. We don't find anything inappropriate or unethical in the situation. In fact, I think it saved on a lot of time that they worked together before. If your H's found someone who he likes working with, why interfere in that? Why aren't you glad that he's interested and motivated to do some work on his stuff? It sounds like you have issues that you need to resolve individually, too, (and who doesn't?) and you could benefit from seeing someone independently of your husband too. What's holding you back from finding a second marriage counselor?
Thank you everyone for responding... and welcoming me. To answer some questions, no, she isn't particularly attractive. And the thing stopping us from finding another counsler is $$$. Most charge 175 an hour here, and she charges 35. I considered seeing someone else in that same building (who would also be affordable) but am cautious because I am not sure if the new person would receive notes on our situation from her "in house". I know that what is said should be confidential, but am leary of that. I was and am trying to find someone new, and hopefully can soon. I definatly have issues to work on and do realize that. Thank you all for responding!
Please be assured that it goes against their ethics to talk about their clients with each other unless you've signed some paperwork. This paperwork can also give a fixed timeframe. You really have nothing to worry about.
Welcome to the board rbcmom06,
If she's that biased then yes, you should be concerned.
Welcome to the board rbcmom06,
Perhaps you could have a private session with her also. Then if you feel she is still blaming you for all the problems, you can bring it up to her and see what she says about it.
Just a thought.
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Our marriage counselor used to see H individually many years ago. We don't find anything inappropriate or unethical in the situation. In fact, I think it saved on a lot of time that they worked together before.
If your H's found someone who he likes working with, why interfere in that? Why aren't you glad that he's interested and motivated to do some work on his stuff? It sounds like you have issues that you need to resolve individually, too, (and who doesn't?) and you could benefit from seeing someone independently of your husband too. What's holding you back from finding a second marriage counselor?