Is Dh's past related 2 porn addiction
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| Fri, 03-16-2007 - 12:51pm |
Let me give you little bit of his history......then mine,
First, he was molested by an uncle when he was 2. No one in his family did anything about it. This still tortures him today. He had to live with this horrible man off and on for several years.
Second, when he was 12, his mother caught him masterbating, and gave him the third degree and then some. She totally put him down for it, telling him that it is wrong, and unnatural, and that he was going to be punished by God for it. She is a holier than thou person.
Third, I have cheated on him in the past. We married when I was 19, fresh out of a very abusive relationship. I had no trust for men. It took me many years to "grow-up". I have been totally commited to my marriage for 5 years now. Tomorrow is my 10th anniversary.
With all that said, I understand his need to be alone with himself. The porn was really affecting our relationship though. I don't mind watching it with him, or looking online, with him. I always make sure that I am with only him, never by myself though.
We have had many ups and downs for the last 10 years. I am slowly starting to realize that him looking at porn, really has nothing to do with how I look. At first, I thought it did.
I am 5'3", about 135 lbs. I have gone through a lot of mental changes in the lst 5 years. At first, it was to make him happy, but soon, I realized that I was doing it for me first, family second.
DH has always been embarassed by his masterbation. couple weeks ago, I let him know that the only reason it bugged me, was because I was no longer getting attention from him. He has alwaysed lied to me about it. Telling me he just had no drive at all. But, when you find sex oils where they aren't supposed to be, I made my own conclusions. Then he would say one of the kids got in it.

Hi frenchgulchmama,
I don't really know if your bf past caused his addiction or not. However, since you mentioned he was always embarrased by his mastrubation do you think he would be willing to go to counseling for his porn addiction. It would probably also help him to deal with his past sexual abuse.
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