Did I do the right thing?
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Did I do the right thing?
| Sat, 06-12-2004 - 12:26pm |
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year, for the last 6 months or so he has been living at my place. A couple of days ago, I asked that he not live here and that we still see each other. He is truly upset by my decisions and is acting like I'm dumping him. He loves me "more than you know" and tells me all the time. He works for himself, contractor, and seems to be a hard worker. The problem is he doesn't contribute to my household bills. He keeps telling me he will and I know he has a couple of good paying jobs coming up and he will catch up then, I know these jobs don't start for a month or more and he barely has any money. He talks alot about the things he's gonna do but I am really not listening anymore because I just don't see him following thru and achieving them.
Our sex life is fantastic! My friends and family like him and he just thinks I'm "all that and a slice of bread".
Our sex life is fantastic! My friends and family like him and he just thinks I'm "all that and a slice of bread".
When I've told him I feel like I'm being taken advantage of he is very insulted that I have lost respect for him. We've both had bad relationships in the past. I really love this guy, I want to believe all that he says, but right now I think he is more a talker than a do-er. When he does have money he is very generous and he has never given me any reason not to trust him. I want to tell him to come "home" but I ......... am at a loss.
Did I do the right thing?

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He was living with his parents who have taken care of him the same way I have been doing. I'm 41 he's 40
I think I've screwed up a good thing.... I am a security freak.
There are many kinds of love, many reasons why we love a person. We all have different wants and desires.
Only you know what you need. Are you afraid you will be supporting him for the long haul and that upsets you? I know I would not want to feel that way. I think as we get older security becomes so much more important to a person.
But if he is really trying and doing the best he can thats good. If he is using you only you can know that.
Do you both want the same things? OUr you afraid you cannot acheive them by doing it alone most of the time?
Things to think about. Good Luck!!!!
One thing I'd like is for him instead of telling me the kind of man he is-- to show me the kind of man he is by attempting to accomplish what he keeps talking about.
This is truly a great forum!
You are also correct that actions speak louder than words.
Destiny
Good luck!
toriphile322
If you explain to him that you just don't feel you can support the 2 of you on your money when you don't have a job - shouldn't that be enough said. It doesn't have to be a blaming situation. If he feels insulted by that, I would say you would have been taken advantage of. If he is understanding about it, perhaps not.
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