Did I do the right thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2004
Did I do the right thing?
12
Sat, 06-12-2004 - 12:26pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year, for the last 6 months or so he has been living at my place. A couple of days ago, I asked that he not live here and that we still see each other. He is truly upset by my decisions and is acting like I'm dumping him. He loves me "more than you know" and tells me all the time. He works for himself, contractor, and seems to be a hard worker. The problem is he doesn't contribute to my household bills. He keeps telling me he will and I know he has a couple of good paying jobs coming up and he will catch up then, I know these jobs don't start for a month or more and he barely has any money. He talks alot about the things he's gonna do but I am really not listening anymore because I just don't see him following thru and achieving them.

Our sex life is fantastic! My friends and family like him and he just thinks I'm "all that and a slice of bread".

When I've told him I feel like I'm being taken advantage of he is very insulted that I have lost respect for him. We've both had bad relationships in the past. I really love this guy, I want to believe all that he says, but right now I think he is more a talker than a do-er. When he does have money he is very generous and he has never given me any reason not to trust him. I want to tell him to come "home" but I ......... am at a loss.

Did I do the right thing?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 10:58am
You did the right thing and I am very proud of you for being so strong. I'm in a similar situation and I am a security freak too. I too am going thru my savings trying to support my boyfriend who is self-employed. I work full-time but I don't make enough to pay all the bills. He works occasionally and makes good money. But most of the time he has an excuse why he can't work. He ends up working 1-2 days a week and whatever money he does get, he says he needs it for the business. He finally gave me some "bill" money last week after a 2-hour fight. He turns things around and says that I should trust him and have more faith in him and that it hurts him when I doubt him this way. But I tell him that faith and trust don't pay the bills and that I need $$$$!!! I love him dearly and hope that things get better, but love and hope don't pay the bills either! Good luck to you and your relationship. You're definately on the right track, so he knows you're not going to let him go on a free ride.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2004
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 10:26pm
Wow I got some great advice and some wonderful support from People who really know the situation. I guess as long as I am letting someone take advantage of me they will. I know my bf is insulted and feels like I don't have faith in him, but now is his time to do it or loose it.

Thanks Amberwaves3, I hope your situation improves!

Thanks All !!

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