did I fall OUT OF LOVE?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
did I fall OUT OF LOVE?
2
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 8:22am
It's sorta funny. You meet someone in your life and hell u even think about marrying them. but then after a few years, you don't even feel any sparks anymore.

I've dated my boyfriend close to 5 years. he's the only boyfriend I ever had. At first I thought I wanted to marry him, but now i'm not so sure I even have feelings for him. I care about him. but I don't think I love him anymore. How can I tell?

Also, I feel that I should love him, because he accepts how I am, loves me how I am, but is that enough reason for me to love him? why don't I feel that I love him then?

I met a new guy, Guy A. he's a nice guy. sweet, considerate, and a gentlemen. we have some similar interests and have good laughs. but we're just friends. sometimes I want to be with Guy A. instead. Hell this valentine's day I want to be with Guy A. I'm so confused :( oh, just a note, Guy A doens't know that I feel this way. actually i'm not sure about my feelings about him either.

I'm not sure if i'm bored with my relationship or if i've really fallen out of love. we've tried to go out more often, and that doesn't work. when we do things together, i really get have no loving feelings towards it. it feels like hanging out with a friend. I think I am remaining in this relationship because

1) I think that no one else can love me the way he does (i'm sorta overweight and not the best looking gal)

2) It would be easiest. no heartbreak. no getting over a past love.



but is the easy route the right route? I don't feel happy with this relationship really. I feel trapped in something that I don't feel is for me. I do'nt want to hurt my boyfriend, but I can't be with him if i don't love him. I feel like i need to decide soon, or else it'll just be harder later on.

I've tried to find love in my relationship,but I can't. I find the components that i like aobut him, but i just don't love him :( i wish i could makemyself love him. that would be so much easier...

this is really hard considering i thought i would always love him..

OH and then there's always regret. if I leave my boyfriend will I regret it, and if i do regret it is it because i love him or because I dislike being alone? i don't know..

i wanted to mention Guy A to give you guys more perspective, but the decision is more with my boyfriend cuz even if i break up with my boyfriend, i don't plan on making things happen with guy A. if they do, they do. if not.. oh well..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 10:23am

Just because someone loves you doesnt mean that you have to love them back and it doesnt make you obligated to return the feelings either. You

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 11:03am
'but I can't be with him if i don't love him'

You said it.

You are not doing him any favors by staying with him because he loves you and you don't want to be alone.